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Hum Saath Saath Hain , La Familiaaa , Kahani Ghar Ghar ki , throw in a few multicoloured hearts to punctuate the awkwardness, smileys, kisses, more kisses and that random red-dressed salsa-dancing girl that now comes in several skin tones and voila, you have the perfect, inexplicably extended Family-WhatsApp-Group Name.
The one with the most frequently-changed group picture — usually from one obnoxious inside-joke to another progressively more obnoxious inside-joke.
The one that bears a ‘GOODMORNING’ message every morning without fail from that faraway uncle, blissfully unaware of the time-zone you are in. The one where entire family histories are discussed and discovered day in and day out.
We’ve all been invited to at least one of these. Some leave at once, nipping it at the bud, others more wary of their social status cringe, turn off notifications and occasionally LOL (laugh-out-loud) at that worthless sexist joke that never seems to die. It’s usually at its worst after a festival — those who didn’t make it express their desire to have done and those who did force those who didn’t to repent their decision with photographs of out-of-focus jalebis and severely unhealthy rasgulla s. Each one individually followed by a main-course of intense discussion on who has gained weight and who’s the biggest loser of them all.
But while more nuanced argument may seem like a rarity in family chat-groups, a lot is said amidst the banter that could be easily missed out on, especially if you were the one that turned off all notifications or simply left the group. For instance, one cannot deny that the barbershop conversations and Chai-Sutta tapri talks — former hotbeds of political conversation have gone digital. My tapri-wala used to discuss the rise of BJP and Gau Rakshaks when I went down for my afternoon tea, we would often harp on about a single argument but nowadays he just sends me a neat graphic about everything from Sakshi Malik’s victory to the GST bill (all in hindi) and what he likes about it well before our fated chai . When I eventually do go down because chai emoji’s just don’t cut it, he’s already had several discussions on a dozen other WhatsApp groups and tells me more about what I thought I knew.
You don’t have to be a person of significance to be heard anymore; more and more people can claim ownership over information that was earlier reserved for the educated and privileged.
Of course, you don’t have to develop a taste in the famed cutting chai or purge your lungs in order to get your fill of the daily news or even have a political opinion.
What is most striking about these chat groups is their simplicity, how understandably difficult concepts like Marx and feminism find their way into everyday conversation. For example, Sindhu and Sakshi’s victorious stint at the Rio Olympics, shared by ultra-patriotic retired uncle who follows it like his life depended on it. The duo’s success in Rio minus any victorious male figure in the Indian roster, on the eve of Raksha Bandhan, brought to light the possibility of ‘ bahu ya beti ke career goals [the career goals of a daugher-in-law or daughter]’; an erstwhile laughable phenomenon in the average man-brings-home-the-dough family, breaking ground for the conversation on women’s rights in a country that has enshrined patriarchy for centuries.
I saw more feminist rhetoric and patriarchy-bashing in one week than I’d ever imagined possible with any member of my extended family. Who would have thought that an event held in a continent two oceans away could spawn such a debate on the Indian subcontinent? Because WhatsApp groups automatically elicit a response — unlike a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram post, where people may just like and forget your passionate rant — they ensure that what is shared is invariably spoken about, thus making it undeniably easier to bring about real and actual social change.
My heart leapt with joy every time I saw the discussion, that ensued on the societal obligations/taboos of a woman, in a forward about the fateful Olympic medals.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that dying-to-be-a-grandma mother-in-laws will suddenly stop expecting their daughters-in- law to birth them a herd of grandchildren, or to stop serving breakfast, lunch and dinner to their sons, husbands and generally all the men in the house, while the latter snore away on the sofa. Nor does it mean other ultra sexist wife-with-credit-card jokes will stop. But I see hope on the horizon.
If not an immediate change, they still serve as important indicators of social change. Something that has become increasingly difficult to ascertain in the times of 24-hour news channels, where every piece of news is ‘breaking news’ and everything is forgotten in a flash.
Here, group chats — especially family group chats — play a crucial role in fostering unbridled discussions, bringing together continents and generations — oldies, millenials — in one digitally created room. Harbouring the largest number of chat groups in the world, India has served as a hive of digital conversation, literally driving home the debate with close to 100 million active users and growing.
Military coups are harder to orchestrate, dictatorships have become more vulnerable to the masses. Directly or indirectly, group chats have turned into effective sources of news and democraised communication.
Traditional news outlets have also increasingly come under threat of survival. Ironically, in a classic catch-22 situation, the very means they must employ to stay afloat brings into question their unbiased independence. Hence, discussions on social group chats become all the more crucial for now there is the Leftist college rioter, retired-Right-wing mama, educated feminist bahu , sexist aunt-in-law, rich elitist uncle staying in ‘Amrika’ and propagandist party-card-holder dada , all at loggerheads with one another in one big family group. It may make for awkward Diwali parties spent in silence, but who cares?
Each brings their own news sources to the discussion and, honestly, I often find more newsworthy less-sensational talk in my family Whatsapp-group debates than on the prime-time debates that populate our television screens at 9 p.m. because — let’s face it; does the nation really want to know who can shout the loudest in a shouting match of imbeciles?
While a number of group chats have taken over our cellphones, WhatsApp is leading the way with over one billion users — that’s nearly one in every seven people — the world over. Never in the history of time have the odds been so favourable to open and decentralised sharing of information. Military coups are harder to orchestrate, dictatorships have become more vulnerable to the masses. Directly or indirectly, group chats have turned into effective sources of news and democraised communication.
There is the flipside to this increased outreach. Rumour spreads like a digital wildfire and they’re getting harder and harder to put out. Especially in an increasingly connected world, often non-stakeholders are becoming agents of change. This means I can help drive a debate in some remote corner of the world that has close to no implications on my own life but could deeply impact those living there. This could lead to disastrous riots; often wrong and fictitious facts are spread by people unaware of the ground realities of the situation, only adding fuel to the fire.
However, having said that, the case in point has been one of ease in access. Content has become cheaper, more malleable, multi-lingual, readable, relatable, easy to download, store, share and discuss — its scope of influence has thus increased manifold. You don’t have to be a person of significance to be heard anymore; more and more people can claim ownership over information that was earlier reserved for the educated and privileged.
Chat groups have become important drivers of socio-political dialogue in our country as in many others. People have become more vocal of their opinions because typing away on a phone is easier than looking your grandpa in the face and telling him he’s wrong. It is more pervasive in the way it cuts across boundaries. Those who echoed the need for men to protect their mothers and sisters, who had never heard of a woman fighting her own battles, are now celebrating a woman wrestler on Raksha Bandhan.
Yes, the dichotomy of patriarchy and liberal ideas will continue to exist but we have come a long way from where we were. Surely, if these walls can come down today, others will come down tomorrow? I, for one, have decided to embrace the endless bickering over jalebi s, payasam and festivities — this boon and bane that is the family Whatsapp group. My reason is simple — I see opportunity for change. Do you?
