Bling is no longer king in new-age Malayali weddings. Young women are moving away from popular images of the Malayali bride weighed down in gold jewellery. Many are choosing not to cover themselves in gold on their big day. In fact, it’s become a fashion for brides to keep things simple, adorning themselves with just a statement piece of jewellery or two.
Chartered accountant Janaki Shahier raised quite a few eyebrows when she turned up with three barely-there necklaces for her society wedding, back in January. “I’ve never liked ostentatious display of gold for weddings. It’s rather nouveau-riche a concept. You wear jewellery because you like it or to enhance your clothes and not show off,” explains the youngster from Kozhikode.
Her bestie Parvathy Dinesh, a doctor, who got married a few days later, was a picture of elegance on her wedding day in a rather magnificent necklace and that too one designed to look more like the extension of her blouse than an ornament per se.
“I have always believed in the mantra that simple is beautiful. Wearing tonnes of jewellery never adds to the beauty of a bride. I wanted to look my best on my wedding day and I know for sure I would not have looked pretty decked in gold,” says Parvathy. She also did away with the tradition of wearing a Kanchivaram bridal sari, in favour of a designer one. “Weddings, in my book, should only be about the bride and the groom and the ceremony itself; never, the jewellery. I decided to wear just that one necklace and make a change,” she adds.
If you recall, Rima Kallingal wore silver jewellery on her wedding day a couple of years ago. The actress-dancer’s reasoning was that she has an aversion to brides being decked up in gold from head to toe. But it’s not that easy to upset the apple cart, say the brides. “You have to be ready to put up with a constant barrage of emotional blackmail, all in the name of the family prestige, especially from elders in the family!” says Shruthi Jayalal, a Sharjah-based management executive and native of the city, who got married a week ago. Her ‘solution’ was to take all her jewellery to the dressing room. “I was only ever going to wear what I wanted to, in the faith that nobody’s going to mess with the bride on the wedding day,” she says.
Janaki, meanwhile, recalls it took her months of persuasion and even a few tears to change the mindsets of her near and dear. “My mom was all for it. She herself had wanted to wear only a few pieces for her wedding but had to eventually bow to tradition. My father is more old school. I had to drum into him that he’s not going to lose face in society just because his daughter is not dripping in gold!” she says. “Actually, it was the extended family that had a problem with it. I could hear the gasps of surprise from the guests as I made my way to the mandapam. I pretended I didn’t hear it!” she says, with a laugh.
Then there’s the matter of convincing the fiancé and in-laws, which the brides say is more important than getting their own families on board. “You don’t really want to start off your new life on a bad note… Mine were not thrilled about it at all, especially my fashionable mom-in-law, but acquiesced when my dad made it seem like it was his decision,” admits Meghna Jayakumar, a textile entrepreneur.
Janaki, on the other hand, says that she had it easy on that front because her sis-in-law too wore minimal jewellery for her wedding. “In one of our conversations before the wedding my husband, Prathyush, actually freaked out when I said I would appear for our wedding like a caparisoned elephant!” she chortles.
Parvathy says her husband, Sandeep, and her in-laws agreed without a murmur. “I think it’s because attitudes are changing. For a state with such a high literacy rate, it’s a shock to learn that people equate family prestige with gold. It’s each person’s choice to wear what they want but they need to think about why a load of jewellery is needed to make a wedding complete? It’s high time our young women and more, importantly, the men, think different. I think I have done my part, however little, and I believe every individual can add to it,” adds Parvathy. All that glitters is not gold, it seems.
