On Monday, Reddit user ‘Mr_Dreamer’, submitted a question on an Indian subreddit /r/india asking, “[IF> India is a bar, what is each state doing and drinking?”.
The discussion over alcohol in states has been rekindled in recent weeks after Maharashtra government said that it was contemplating a totoal ban in the state and the post received hundreds of replies.
Here is a compilation of some of our favorites.
Gujarat:
Says does not drink and owns the bar somewhere. Counts money all night all the while trying to nick some booze from others tables. Eventually gets drunk and starts doing Garba and sings Falguni Pathak songs while offering Dhokla and Gathiya to everybody, all the while checking with his assistant to see how the share market is going and whether his transporter has delivered new sarees from Surat.
Goa:
Enters bar drunk, chugging feni and beer from two bottles at once. Does not bother anyone and drinks peacefully and shaking head at states that cannot handle their drinks. Ends up meeting a nice Russian on vacation.
Rajasthan:
Drinking too much and telling everyone about its old glory days of Rajputana. Carries a hukkah at all times.
West Bengal:
Drinks cheap beer, beer of the people…not the bourgeois stuff others are drinking. Reminisces about the good old days while listening to Rabindrasangeet. No matter what the conversation is about, it’s steered back to politics.
Bihar:
Drinks country liquor - listens to Kamariya Lollipop Lagelu but leaves at 11 PM sharp. After reaching home, prepares for the UPSC exams till 5 AM in the morning.
Delhi:
Drinks the most expensive alcohol on the menu - dances to YO YO Honey Singh tracks…pulls out a revolver at some point of time during the night and fires randomly in the air. Drops the dreaded jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai? line when asked to stop. Also, selling roofies on the side.
Tamil Nadu:
Drinks only Old Monk rum or booze sold by government out of a disposable glass with a water packet and an ‘oorga’ packet as the sidedish. Makes sure to bring 4 year old kids too.
Jammu & Kashmir:
Not sure if he is at the right bar, or should visit the bar next door, or should start his own bar.
Kerala
Drinks one peg of almost everything. Bitches about the NDA/Modi/BJP/RSS/Hindu Nationalism for an hour or so before rushing out of the bar in order to catch his flight to Dubai.