Australia's M*A*S*H day

Eight bowlers used, seven overs lost, six Indian batsmen, five more to come, four sub fielders, three injured bowlers, two wobbly Marshes ... all that was missing from Steven Smith's first day as Test captain was a partridge in a pear tree.

The day ended with India calm at 4 for 311 and Australia's medicos flustered by the attrition rate in the Brisbane heat. The Australians have wished for DRS at times in this series but Hawkeye Pierce might have been more use to them on this day than HawkEye ball-tracking.

So dire was the fitness crisis that a 44-year-old Canadian was in his whites, ready to come on and field if required: John Davison, Nathan Lyon's spin coach and the man who famously blasted a 67-ball century for Canada in the 2003 World Cup. As it was, the Queensland opener Marnus Labuschagne, state second XI player Andrew Gode and Under-19s batsman Sam Heazlett were all used, along with 12th man Peter Siddle. Captaincy is a matter of juggling but Smith had so many balls to keep in the air that he'd have been forgiven for dropping his bundle entirely.

"I thought he coped really well considering the revolving door, in and out," Australia coach Darren Lehmann said after play. "He didn't know who was on the field and the substitutes. We had John Davison in his whites, we had everyone. I thought he did a good job."

Smith can take heart from the fact that Michael Clarke's first fielding innings as Test captain resulted in England piling on 644 at the SCG, with a full complement of bowlers. But it was still a tough first day at the office. Too often Smith had to chat to a bowler who was limping, cramping or rubbing some bit of his body or other.

None of which was his fault, of course. Nor were the dropped catches - Shaun Marsh missed one at slip and another at cover, both of which he misjudged and should have taken. Marsh is carrying an elbow niggle and he also muffed his lines when he chased a ball to the boundary and tossed it back to his colleague, only to see it sail well over his head and nearly cost an overthrow.

It was that sort of day for Australia. Chris Rogers was clocked in the back of the helmet at short leg when Rohit Sharma made powerful connection. The death of Phillip Hughes has everyone worried about being hit on the back of the head, and Rogers appeared a little shaken, but tried to brush off the attention of team doctor Peter Brukner.

Rogers stayed on the field, but at various times most of the bowlers had to go off for attention. Mitchell Marsh hurt his right hamstring, worryingly not the same hamstring he twinged during the Champions League, and left the field after taking his first Test wicket. He won't be back to bowl again in this match.

Mitchell Starc was worn down by M Vijay, worn out by the Brisbane heat, and comprehensively Warned - "he just looks a bit soft," Shane said in commentary. Lehmann said the comments were "very harsh" and that he would chat to Warne personally; Warne later clarified on Twitter that he meant Starc's general approach and was not criticising him for wilting in the weather.

Nathan Lyon leaked, Shane Watson creaked, and on such a hot day everyone reeked. Perhaps the only positive for Australia was the promising start to Josh Hazlewood's Test career, although he too left the field with whole-body cramps late in the day. The irony of the injury-prone Watson completing Hazlewood's over was not lost on anyone.

Earlier in the day, Hazlewood had been the one man on whom Smith could rely, and not for the first time. His 6 for 50 in the Sheffield Shield final gave New South Wales the title under Smith's captaincy last summer. He has gone wicketless only once in a first-class innings in the past two years. Two wickets on his first day as a Test cricketer was an encouraging start.

If the 45th over of the innings didn't glue cricket-loving eyes to televisions around the country, nothing will. Running in from the Vulture Street End, Hazlewood banged in a bouncer that Virat Kohli evaded. Next ball he went short again and Kohli tried to cut, but the extra bounce meant his thick edge sailed through to Brad Haddin. Hazlewood had his second Test wicket. The second, you felt, of a great deal. It was very nearly followed by his third.

Ajinkya Rahane began by missing a delivery that nipped in over the top of middle stump. Two balls later he tried to pull another short one, an ill-advised move third ball on a bouncy Gabba pitch for an Indian batsman unfamiliar with such surfaces. His miscue lobbed just out of reach of Hazlewood's outstretched left hand. It was nearly a double-wicket maiden.

His first wicket had come when a bouncer grazed Cheteshwar Pujara's helmet grille on the way through to Haddin. It was a poor decision by umpire Ian Gould, but a fearsome ball from Hazlewood nonetheless. Fast and accurate, it had Pujara swaying and unsuccessful in his attempt to get out of the way.

It was not surprising that Hazlewood's extra bounce troubled the Indians. At 196 centimetres, he has the height of Glenn McGrath and the bustling gait of Craig McDermott. Both men have influenced his career, McGrath as the childhood idol and McDermott as the bowling coach who helped him find the right lengths.

That he cramped late in the afternoon was a concern, but the Australians expect to have him available again on day two. At the very least, Hazlewood's debut was Australia's brightest spot in a difficult day.

By Lehmann's assessment, the collective bowling effort was "okay" in the first session, "very good" in the second and "very poor" in the third. Lengths were off, lines were off, bowlers went too short early and too full later. Sometimes they also went too wide. They also came up seven overs short despite using the extra half hour at the end of the day.

"I don't particularly like it," Lehmann said of the over rate. "Even the last over we should have been able to complete that. There's time-wasting going on everywhere. We've got to get better at that as a side. The ground, people waiting for people in boxes, security behind sight screens, two drinks breaks, all of those things come into it. And then obviously we had a lot of injuries on the ground."

So many injuries, in fact, that Lehmann said it was a unique day in his experience. And the kind of day that Smith hopes will happen only once in his captaincy career.