I made a promise to myself: I will wear India jersey again, says PR Sreejesh

A few days after suffering a ligament tear in his right knee in May last year, India hockey goalkeeper PR Sreejesh tweeted a picture with a caption, "My companion for next few months ..time for a break and a new beginning".
His companion comprised a couple of crutches, an ice pack, a coffee mug, a playstation and some books.

However, somewhere in the midst of his eight-month long injury lay-off, India's star goalkeeper found another addition to the list: Open. Tennis legend Andre Agassi's autobiography.

That companion turned out to be an inspiration.

"I feel I chose the right book to read at the right time because Agassi had been through a lot in this career: best performance, worst performance, injury, breakups," Sreejesh tells DNA.

"That gave me an idea that even the best of the players have gone through these rough phases. But Agassi fought back, and at the end of his career, he became world No. 1 again by the age of 33.

"So I thought, 'if he can do that, why not me?' It gave me an inspiration that even I can come back and get back to the top of my game," he adds.

It is this belief with which Sreejesh, India's much-celebrated custodian for over a decade, is restarting his journey with the national team for the first time after May in the Four Nations Invitational Tournament in New Zealand starting from January 17.

Hit by the ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) injury, Sreejesh underwent a knee surgery in June in the hope of getting back to the hockey field again at some stage. ACL injuries can – and have – halted careers, but Sreejesh was adamant of not ending his career with those dreaded three letters.

He studied the injury and everything around it like a Class X kid before the board exams, as also the complexities of his muscles while he was on the long road of getting back on his feet.

"It was the toughest phase of my life," Sreejesh says. "I suffered almost a career-ending injury. Getting through the first phase of my injury was tough."

What kept him going, though, was a simple promise he had made to himself.

"I was desperate to get back on the field. I was desperate to get back into the national team. When I got injured, when I did the surgery, I made a promise to myself: I will wear the India jersey again.

"When I got back to my feet, when I lifted weights for the first time, when I trained for the first time, this promise was always there at the back of my mind. The motto to work hard and get back that India jersey never died in me," Sreejesh says.

And yet in the air of optimism, there were bound to be bouts of uncertainty, of whether Sreejesh can return as Sreejesh, the stubborn wall in front of India's goalpost that can be as daunting for any opposition to break down.

And probably for the first time in his booming and unblemished international career, the 29-year-old realised he had get back to the drawing board and erase the Sreejesh out of it.

"It was important to just stay in the present, analyse what is happening with you," Sreejesh says. "Not think about the past or the future. If you think more about the future, it will put questions in your head. If you think about the past, you will feel, 'oh, I was a star but now, I am nowhere'. That also brings a lot of negative energy. So, it's better to stay where you are now and think about what you can do now," he adds.

Staying in the present also meant Sreejesh was part of the team in spirit during every tournament and every game. He was tweeting frantically during almost all of India's games in his absence, giving his teammates instructions and motivation in less than 140 – now 280 – characters as if he were there in person.

"In or out, you're a part of the team and you want the team to win. That is why I was so active on social media. It was my way of motivating the team from sitting outside. You need to show some positivity from the sidelines and show the players that we're there to support you. It's important to stand by the team even if you're not playing," he says.

Sreejesh was out of hockey, but hockey was not out of Sreejesh. And the last eight months have shown that it can probably never be.

"This was a period in which I had to show myself how tough I am. I needed this to prove to myself more than anybody else," he says.

SREEJESH SPEAKS

On target of team in 2018
The target for every tournament is a medal. But, Asian Games is more important because it will give us direct qualification for the (2020 Tokyo) Olympics. World Cup is also a key event because we’re hosting it and expectations will be high and we can’t disappoint our home fans.

SREEJESH SPEAKS

On young goalies standing up
Healthy competition is good for any team. It always helps us to improve ourselves, find our mistakes and ensure that we rectify them.