‘He just said: Okay’

We both were 17 and best of buddies. We would travel together to college and after reaching home call each other on land-line and talk for hours. He was a handsome straight man and I was a closeted gay man. I had, by then, began exploring my sexuality and made a few gay friends. Day by day it was becoming difficult to explain to him where I had met these guys. So finally after our 12th standard exams, I decided to take the plunge and tell him. I was tired of lying to him and felt that I was cheating him. I had no idea how he would react to me being gay. I was so close to him that I was scared of losing him.

In those days, 22 years ago, you could go up to the bridge on the airport and sit there to watch flights land. It was our favourite spot. I bought him a leather wallet and took him there for a chat. After gifting him the wallet, I told him that I had something important today. Gathering all my courage, I told him I like men. Time stood still and even after so many years, I can recall the anxiety and fear that engulfed me. He looked at me for a few seconds and said, “Okay”.

I was surprised and thought maybe he did not understand, so I repeated myself. He said “Yes I understood it and it’s OK. What do you want me to do with it? It doesn’t change anything between us!” I wonder how he was so mature at that age. He was the first person I came out to and it was an amazing experience. We spoke for a long time about what it means to be gay on our way back home and he was so comfortable. He continues to be a close friend who is not just comfortable with my sexuality but is a good friend to my partner too.

(Dr Prasad Dandekar is an Oncologist in Mumbai, and one of the books in the Human Library Project)

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