Book Review 'Red Lipstick - The Men In My Life' : Looking for Laxmi

Don’t judge a book by its cover', goes the old adage. And it holds true for this one. The black line drawings against white, the stark boldness of her red lipstick and sindoor and those signature curls scream Laxmi, the celebrated transgender activist known for her articulation on issues of queer identity. The book, however, fails to draw the connect and becomes a clumsy kiss-and-tell tale.

It starts out promisingly, with Laxmi discussing the binary of gender. Here was a man who fell somewhere in between, loved “flowy fabric”, makeup and jewellery, and was passionate about dance. “The world kept suggesting I was a girl but my private parts indicated I was a boy,” Laxmi says. And you doff your hat to the courage of this son from a conservative Brahmin family who embraced a new identity as a hijra.

But the promise of a window into the life and times of the remarkable activist and also a perspective on the politics of the transgender community falters as the book progresses. What we get instead a run-through of the men – and women – in her life with few glimpses of an unbridled search for sexual identity.

Missing in several places is the context. For instance, the book suddenly brings up Radhe Maa (the self-styled godwoman) with no explanation as to who she even is. She also refers to a violent episode with “current love interest Viki” and co-activist Atharv. But what does Laxmi herself have to say about her violent, abusive boyfriend? 

The writing, often stilted with sentences such as “How I made their patriarchy come crawling to me, on its knees to my doorstep…” leaves you cringing. 
However, there are also searing bits. Her account of being sexually abused as a six-year-old boy by a relative at a family wedding in Gorakhpur is vivid and disturbing. And while absorbing this, comes this sentence, “I went through all the men in my family, one by one, replacing my frustration and confusion with blinding rage and pure revenge sex.” This woman is admired for braving many odds and emerging triumphant and secure in her own sexuality. If only the book could give us more insights.