To cut or not to cut

Very often I'm in a situation where I can't write. There are two reasons why I can't. One, you don't want to admit that you need to delete 20,000 words. If your whole manuscript is supposed to be one-lakh words – my books are usually one lakh plus – so say I've written 50,000 words. It's with great difficulty that you get there – every day you count the words and say I'm getting there, I'm getting there. And then you read that much and you know in your head that you've taken a wrong turn somewhere and now you have to delete 20,000 words. But it takes serious courage – it's like killing your babies – and you don't want to. Because you've slaved to write those 50,000 words. Cutting is so painful that you go into denial. It's like a zipper, you've got to come back and then go up all over again. But you don't want to go back.

And then you figure out the correct way. You leave it alone for a while and you think and think, and then you get an idea that excites you so much that you don't mind deleting. And that idea comes while you're doing other things – writing a column, redecorating a room, relaxing on a holiday or giving your dog a haircut. Then you wake up one morning and say, 'Oh yes, this is what I need to do'.

When I write, I never read fiction. Because then I'll be thinking, oh, this is so good or I'll start plagiarising without knowing it. But then I write one book in two years, so I have enough time to catch up on my pile.

I usually write from 10am to 4pm, when my kids are away in school. And then at night, after everyone's asleep, I do a bit of read through of what I wrote that day. And either I'll go to sleep happy or say, how terrible!

I don't know if it's gotten easier (writing books) over the years, but it's a little scary because you're afraid of repeating yourself. Because you know all your references and sometimes when you've written something, it seems a bit like a familiar stranger. I worry about becoming repetitive.