We ask experts what’s the fallout of choosing not to be connected with your SO on social media
In every sphere, we have two extremes. And this is also true for social media. While on one hand, you have people/couples who overshare especially on Facebook, on the other extreme, you also have individuals, who choose to keep their private lives to themselves. Rithika Sethi, an advertising professional shares, “I had a Facebook account earlier but chose to deactivate it a while back. Hence, while I have dated and been in a relationship I have never been friends on Facebook with them. As long as I know where I stand with my partner I don’t see why I need validation from others. The two guys I had dated in the past found it hard to believe that I did not want to be friends with them on Facebook. This led to unnecessary stress and suspicions and eventually we drifted apart.” While Rithika’s case is rare, there are others who are Facebook friends with their partners but shy away from sharing about their relationship.
Not connecting on social media can take its toll...
Vinay Shinde (name changed) is a travel executive and a posterboy for these select few. However, he has had to pay a price for choosing not to share a lot on Facebook. Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany, who is handling the case explains, “Vinay and his wife are having marital issues, and one of the bones of contention was that he didn’t want any post about his outings and couple pictures on any social media sites. He felt he was a private person and was upset about his wife’s post, which he felt were intrusive. Also, his grouse was that his wife was spending most of their quality time responding to messages or posting some or other activity on social media. This takes away most of the time they could spend together. His wife Reema (name changed) did not agree and could not understand why he was making a big deal of it.”
Seema says this gap in thought is becoming a huge problem for a lot of couples. Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, believes that social media today is an extension of oneself. The use of social media is dependent on one’s personality and personality needs. For example, someone who wants appreciation and attention would love the likes and positive comments on social media. Then there are others who maybe public figures but hate displaying PDA on social media. He adds, “In this age of information, relationships do require a more human touch and more personal space.”
A guide to help you online
- Hemant suggests pointers to help navigate these trust issues. It’s essential to be friends on Facebook and social media. Avoiding each other on social media displays a lack of trust.
- Relationship status should be updated. This makes your partner feel more connected to you.
- Photos or videos or comments should be shared only with proper consent of each partner. Even a “love you or miss you” can become a major bone of contention for the shy and inferiority complexed personalities.
- Never display relationship anger on social media.
- Don’t pay attention to random comments, as they aren’t always true.
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