Father of two recounts emotional toll of recovering from a stroke

At the age of 41, I was living a healthy life in Singapore in 2006 where I was working in a senior marketing role for a multinational company. I was physically active and ate healthy, so when I woke up at 4 am with a splitting headache I didn't pay much attention to it.

I headed to work at my usual hour and when I had difficulty moving the right side of my body, I ignored it. A few other warning signs followed through the day. When my colleague was speaking to me, I had trouble comprehending it. It was only in the evening after work, and almost an entire day after my symptoms began, that I went to see a doctor at the insistence of my wife.

However, it was already too late. The entire right side of my body was paralysed as I had suffered a stroke and I had to miss work for four months. I experienced difficulty in talking and walking and had to relearn everything.

As a stroke patient, we wonder 'why me', but we never ask that question when good things are happening in our life. I decided to focus on what I was left with and be positive. My logical reasoning and ability to analyse was not affected so I was able to get back to work after four months. Speech therapy helped me and I had to relearn even the alphabets — first English and then other languages. As a result of which today I am more fluent in Hindi than I ever was compared to my mother tongue Tamil.

Recovery from a stroke is mentally and emotionally draining for any patient. The caregivers too have an important role to play. I was lucky to have found support in my wife and mother but at the end of the day it is only the patient who fully understands the extent of the suffering.

Empathy is one of the most important thing. It is also important to acknowledge and celebrate every small success during recovery to remain motivated.

Post my stroke, I focussed on doing things like teaching, delivering inspirational lectures and writing. I take a course at IIM Lucknow and have written three books. My company and friends were incredibly supportive during the entire phase — supporting me both physically and emotionally. Currently, am learning Mandarin which itself is a kind of exercise for my tongue. I have regained some movement in the right side of my body but my aim is to regain around 80 per cent of the ability I lost post the stroke.

I want to tell others that when your body tells you that something is wrong then do not brush off the topic. Take care of your health and go for annual check-ups. My book My Stroke of Luck talks about my journey after the stroke. Luck is all about attitude and that is what one needs to change during the recovery period.

Vijay Santhanam, a father of two, is currently based in Southern China.

(As told to Disha Shetty)