Rainbow Guru answers: I used to be gay but I am not sure anymore. Is there a test?

I used to be gay but I am not sure that I am any more. Is there a test I could take? Help me out.

Hello, first of all, what do you mean by you ‘were’ gay? You can’t wake up one day and not be gay! It’s not a dietary habit, like today you are non-vegetarian and tomorrow you turn vegetarian. Being gay is not a choice, your orientation is not in your hands. You could be curious but right now I’m very furious!

There is NO test to determine your orientation. The only check you need right now is a reality check. You may be attracted to girls and boys, you may be bisexual. But what I have gauged is that you are more confused than anything else. The only person that can help you here is yourself.

There may be certain pressures that you are facing from people around you to act and be a certain way which might have drawn you to have an encounter with a girl or two, but it’s you who needs to figure out whether you are attracted to both men and women; only men, or only women. You could visit a counselor and get over this dilemma or continue living in a bubble of fallacies.

PS: Once you’re gay, it’s most probably always going to stay. So don’t fret over it! Be whatever you want to be and what makes you comfortable, but don’t make a joke out of yourself and your potential partner in the pursuit of pleasing people who don’t pay your bills and will have an opinion even if you’re their idea of perfect.

SPEAK UP

Mr Gay India 2014, Sushant Divgikar is your counsellor, guide and conscience through the waters of sexuality. Write to him at sexualitydna@gmail.com