A mind full of questions

Mahesh: Swati! Where do you think you’re going?
Swati: Dad! We spoke about this. I’m partying with my friends for the New Year! And it’s Balu’s birthday too.
Mahesh: I used to fear speaking to my parents when I was your age. You are telling me to my face that you are going to party? Who is Balu? What are their parents doing? Who is this boy?
Swati: I don’t have time for this. I’m in a hurry.
Mahesh: Kalyug has arrived! Kids are openly drinking, smoking and doing unsanskaari things with whoever they want instead of listening to their parents about who we tell you to get married to. At least some pubs have banned these gays and all ‘those types’ of people. But they should do more and get back in touch with our cultural roots. Follow our beautiful traditions. Why don’t you stay this year and attend special midnight puja with us? There will be sweets distributed!
Swati: What tradition are you referring to dad? You know our history wasn’t great, right? What is wrong about people having fun together as long as it doesn’t affect others? How is a party problematic? And what do you have against gay people? What if I was attracted to other women?
Mahesh: Don’t insult our culture, Swati. Our culture and past have been perfect. Ah! Such wonderful times when we showed the world the way to live.
Swati: When exactly was it perfect?
Mahesh: In our earlier periods. Before all this moral corruption.
Swati: When we had Sati and child marriage? That golden period? Ah! Fun times! Great memories.
Mahesh: Okay. Some of those are unfortunate. Mostly it was fine.
Swati: Uh… untouchability? It still exists in several parts of the nation.
Mahesh: Oh of course! Untouchability was bad. No other major issues really, except those minor hiccups.
Swati: The glorious history of honour killings?
Mahesh: That wasn’t really in our culture. The British caused it.
Swati: What about the practice of beating Dalits who crossed an upper caste street, widows getting tonsured and clad in white, breast tax in Kerala, female infanticide, marrying the rapist, forced marriages in general, ‘made snana’ ritual, animal sacrifice, banishing couples over inter-caste marriages, human-animal weddings to appease god’s anger, laws based on manusmriti… I could go on!
Mahesh: Okay stop. I know you can keep listing all that. But you clearly lack something our ancestors had. Respect for elders. You shouldn’t keep questioning us this way. You will only understand when you have your own kids.
Swati: (mumbling) We wouldn’t be in this mess had y’all asked some questions...
Mahesh: What did you say?
Swati: Nothing dad. Indian culture is the best! Would you like me to sing the national anthem now?
Mahesh: Don’t be a smart mouth! Just one more thing. Make sure you return before midnight!
Swati: It is a New Year party dad!
Mahesh: I know. Just in time for the puja...