Rainbow Guru: I’m a gender fluid individual, how should I deal with this?

Hey Sushant,
I’m a gender fluid individual from Mumbai. People don’t seem to understand or even make an effort. They simply rubbish it off and tell me “You just want to be with boys and girls. You’re bi.” How should I deal with this?
—Mx Misunderstood

Hi Mx Misunderstood,
I totally understand your concerns and issues as a gender fluid individual but people may not understand it just yet because they are still being sensitised to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and trans persons. Most of the time, people don’t accept or acknowledge sexual and gender minorities. While it’s indeed sad, it’s very prevalent and unfortunately the truth. Even within the queer community, people do not understand each other. The reason for this is lack of education, sensitisation programmes plus a lack of willingness to understand others.

According to me, gender fluidity has always been prevalent but as time passed, people started making these horrendous parameters around how a man and a woman should speak, walk, dress and live!

The fault, if you realise, is with us humans as a race. We are too bothered by what the next person is wearing, how they look and who they’re with. Once we concentrate on making ourselves the best version of what we are capable of becoming, is when I think people will live happier lives.

As for you, you should interact with other gender fluid individuals. You can probably discuss the various ways to sensitise people. Social media is the new in thing and you can totally use it to reach out to a lot of people. Try and make them understand that what you are is none of anybody else’s business. What you wear, how you talk, who your partner is – these things are rather irrelevant to someone else and you must reiterate this point.

You must know that the new generation is much more open to accepting sexual diversity and is way more open minded than some of our senior folks. Having said that, you always have some of the cool cats from every generation like my parents! They don’t really hold anything against anyone on the basis of orientation or gender. I know so many amazingly cool people from their generation who will lend you a helping hand when you need it.

You can always write in to us and we could sort you out (or at least try) whenever you need some help. Cheers and big hugs.

(Mr Gay World India 2014, Sushant Divgikar is your counsellor, guide and conscience through the waters of sexuality)

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