Mumbai Chi LesBahienns

When I was on the brink of coming out of the closet, I knew exactly zero lesbians. Then one day, our bhaus from Shiv Sena blew the lid off a film called Fire. That’s when I saw Shabana maushi and Nandita tai giving lip madhe pappi. I had not met a single lesbian till then. When I came to terms with my sexuality and visited queer spaces, it was all gay men. So invisible were the women that I thought lesbians were fiction. For straight male friends, they were just in high-priced VHS tapes from Fort.

Lesbians are the lowest in the pecking order. They are discriminated against because of their gender and because of their sexuality. In a country where women still can’t choose a husband, to be able to say that she will not marry a man as she is attracted to women, sounds like a fairy tale. Many are pushed into forced marriages (which is rape), undergo corrective rape by family members, jaadu-tona and shock treatment. How I know? I receive their calls for help.

We need to acknowledge that most LGBTIQ spaces were dominated by gay men. The community is so small, the victimisation is so rampant that they need to gather to give each other the confidence to even imagine a world where they can be with who they wish to be, and kiss the way they would want to kiss.

Lesbian women in Bombay appear to be strong. We are quick to label them pushy, bossy, nasty, but it is time we reflect why they always have to become Jhaansi-chi Rani to win an argument. Does it say a lot about them? Or does it say a lot about us men?

So it is a matter of great pride that our lesbian sisters, or Marathi-ized ‘LesBahienn’ of Bombay have taken the leap from being a gumnaam-dukhiyaari-abla naari to party tabla-bajaaoing-party-chi-hariyaali. Some of them have converted their oppression into intellect while some are working hard to keep our city a safe space for queer women to party.

Mumbai is celebrating its Queer Azaadi Mumbai Pride Parade on January 28. Post Pride, we used to have a party at Karma where the attendance of women was only 10-20 per cent. Not everyone is comfortable in spaces dominated by high-levels of testosterone.

I jumped with joy when Gaysi Family organised a party aimed at getting more LGBT participation. I am certain that with a growing demand, more groups will organise post-pride parties to ensure that the pink rupee remains in circulation within the gay community. But the official post-pride party is still all-inclusive, yet LBT focused. Anuja Parikh from GaysiFamily.com says, “No one other than us can fight our battles for acceptance, visibility and dignity. Hence Gaysi plunged into the party scene.”

Aaj aahe Christmas. Aani Santa is a man. Breaking stereotypes is the aadat of queers. So, three cheers to Anuja and the Gaysi Team for being our Lady Santa and for throwing a party for lesbian, bisexual, trans-women and their mitr and maitrins.