Aunty mat kaho na, writes Aditi Mittal

While walking past a game of football on the grounds of the colony I live in, I got into a "football early flying into my skull" related argument with the boys playing the game. While one of the young men came at me with the enthusiasm of a piranha that's been dieting for a month, the others gathered round to watch. Where we people supposed to walk if every inch of the field below is being used to play football, I asked. Why don't you kill yourself aunty, suggested the 12-year-old.

His anger issues not withstanding, I went back home and did one of those long, dramatic, standing-in-front-of-the-mirror things. Did I look like an aunty? Those ads were right, I panicked. All of 28-year-old, I will now qualify for those oil of Olay ads where an urgent voice over goads "Buddhi ho gayi? Ye le cream laga, nahin toh tu toh gayi boss."

But that begs the question - what's wrong with getting older? Why is 'aunty' such an offensive term? The idea of implying that someone is an 'aunty' is to imply that a woman is past her prime- her reproductive age is over, and that she is not relevant any more.

Sarah Silverman, an American comedian recalled some of the jokes cracked on her at an event about her age, "You are one of my favourite comedians" someone said, "ever since I've been a kid." The audience roared with laughter. Her response? "Wait, so your joke is that I'm still alive? How is that funny?"

As women, it is constantly drilled into our heads that unless we are younger and tighter that everyone else, we are not relevant. Most 'aunties' in main stream portrayal are the Bua-ji from Comedy Nights With Kapil, where the standing joke is that Buaji is a desperado and really, no one wants her around. In real life, aunties are the mazza kirkira karne waalis that will destroy youthful dreams of playing football in a parking lot because it might break a window/damage a car/injure people who have no where else to walk in order to get to their homes. Our creams will have things like AHA complex in order to restore collagen from the protienism of the serumite, and glop them on our faces with some hilarious hope of defying time.

And it is unfair that men are said to get more rugged as they get older, women— women just sag. In our defence- We cannot grow beards that will hide our jowls and pimple scars. And frankly, it's when women become "Aunties" is when they are at their prime. When the spot light of society flits to judging the younger folks for having too much fun- is when aunties come into their element, un judged. That's why you'll see "Aunties" rant harmlessly and yet eloquently at the maid, and the kids and anything that bothers them. They say the things they REALLY want to say because they think no one is listening.

As I walked away from the mirror, I gave myself one last glance and smiled. I'm at that age where it's time to up the ante, or maybe, the aunty.