Arjun Rampal on being a father to his daughters: 'My kids don’t gossip at all'

Arjun Rampal’s upcoming film Daddy is a biopic on Arun Gawli, in which the actor plays the title role. In reality, Arjun is an extremely protective father. Dad to daughters Mahikaa (15) and Myra (12), Arjun is an easy-going father. He admittedly doesn’t have any ground rules for his daughters. He allows them the freedom in the hope that they don’t choose to rebel at some point. Over a cup of coffee, Arjun opens up on life as a dad. Read on...

You have transformed your look completely for Daddy. How did your daughters react?

They were like, ‘No, no, not again’. I remember last time they really freaked out was when I shaved my head for Ra.One. And then when I did this for Daddy, they asked me why I always do this. But again, I think they know by now that their father does this kind of stuff and they also admire that. They are getting old enough to understand that I go to this level and they like it.

As a father, did you restrict them from watching your films?

No. Whatever they want to watch, they will watch. Even today, if they don’t like any film of mine, they won’t watch it. It’s entirely their decision. I can’t be a parent who forces things on my kids. My children are my friends. You should not instill fear in them because that creates a gap in relationships. And that has become an easy thing to do today because there are so many other distractions in the form of WhatsApp, social media and what not. It takes up half your day and I see people spending so much time looking down at their phones that their necks have bent. It’s just ridiculous. The best that we can do is to not give them any fear, don’t make rules and spend time with them as friends so that they can feel secure and share everything with you.

How do you make sure that they remain unaffected by whatever is written about you?

Social media is a part of your life right now. If people want to talk about things, they do. I don’t care. People who are close to you — your kids, you wife, your family — they just know the truth. I just read a few days ago that I’m going to meet Al Capone’s family (laughs). So what do you do? You take it with a pinch of salt and move on. It doesn’t influence anyone forever. Today, you are the news, tomorrow someone else will take up that space. We all are moving targets. News is sensationalised, but now sensationalism is also boring for the audience. You cannot think children today are stupid. They are very smart, they know everything that’s happening around. My kids don’t gossip at all. In fact, this new generation, I feel, hates gossip and that’s what I love about them. They are very, very positive and into their own scene, whatever it may be. They are into sports, games, reading or just information.

How protective are you as a father?

That’s a natural instinct. Any parent is protective of their kids. Obviously I am, too. When you have kids, you will be protective about your children just like your parents are protective about you. I just met Suhana and Aryan (Shah Rukh Khan’s children) on a flight recently. They have both grown up and are so beautiful. They have wonderful manners and are so polite. That shows your upbringing. That reflects how your parents are. These things that come and go, shouldn’t bother them. Which is why, like I said, you need to talk to them as a friend and make them feel secure. So that they feel solid and it doesn't affect their personalities. 

Have you kept that space open where you can talk to them about their personal life?

Of course! That’s what I mean when I say that we are friends. There has to be space where they can talk to me about anything and everything. If you make rules or say that don't talk to boys, no guys at home, come home by this time, do this, don’t do that and so on, you will create a rebel there. The whole idea is that you also know that when someone said no to something, you wanted it the most. That’s human psyche. That's how kids, or young adults behave. It’s very difficult for people to digest a no. So I’m like, ‘Go try it. Find out for yourself.’

Anil Kapoor had said that his daughters’ friends become closer to him once they meet him. What about you — are you friends with Mahikaa and Myra's buddies?

Right now, they are really small. So, I will look like a giant to them (laughs). I think, slowly, as they get older, I will have a lot more interaction with their friends. And I would love to meet them, get to know them better. It’s always good to have that. It’s healthy. 

Are they your personal critics?

They are not critics at all. I don’t remember them not liking any films of mine in the last two three years. They have watched most of my films that came. 

Between you and Mehr, who says yes more often?

We both have our share of it. There are certain things, which they know I don’t like. I hate it when they sit with their phones and iPads at the dining table when the family is about to eat together. Mehr doesn't care about that and she does that with them. There are different things like that. But she’s definitely more hands-on than I am. I’m out most of the times because of my work.

If your daughters want to act in films, how would you react?

I would be totally comfortable with whatever they decide to do. I think Bollywood is a great industry and it’s a great profession. It requires a lot of dedication, hard work, education, study, self-discipline and you need to have all these qualities when you want to be part of an industry where you will be creating a body of work that you will leave eventually. 

Have they ever expressed their desire to do films?

They are again, too young. But the elder one (Mahikaa) is into theatre. She likes it a lot. And the younger one (Myra) is a full-on drama queen. I’m sure she will join the industry. It is also because when you see your parents doing something ever since you are born, you certainly have an inclination towards their profession. But even if they choose to do something else, Mehr and I will support them.