An affair ain’t worth it

The common myth says when something is missing in a marriage, one gets involved outside.  Does a perfect marriage with no missing ingredient exist?? When life is never perfect, how can a marriage be? Instead of looking outside, either working towards what’s missing or accepting it helps two people come closer. 

Infidelity comes easy to people with a good amount of time at hand — physical and mental. When one is not engaged physically and mentally, life becomes boring. With boredom comes the need to make it interesting. While there are a million ways to make it stimulating, people many a time seek solace in an extramarital affair. 

While all affairs are about novelty, the euphoria it generates is transitory. It may be about some lost feelings which are rekindled but the excitement and the attraction are temporary. Once into it, it’s like addiction. One involvement outside may lead to another. It becomes a set pattern. As the newness begins to fade, one starts exploring another one — one that would rule the feelings again, momentarily though.  Despite the experience, people refuse to realize it wouldn’t last beyond a certain span of time. And they end up jeopardizing or complicating their lives for some temporary pleasure. You only live once — the most common justification. But because you only live once, you might as well live prudently. Why dig your own grave?

Singular affair with someone for long doesn’t remain the same either. Beyond a certain time, it starts functioning at a different level, especially once the physical attraction has worn off. People either remain blind to it or try to believe everything is hunky dory. Acceptance of the fact that things have changed becomes a struggle. Everything changes in a marriage too. Along with a legal stamp of commitment, it’s the families and the children involved which make it stronger. It’s about getting habituated to a person one is living with,  despite the daily irritations and idiosyncrasies.  It’s the love and care expressed in varying degrees of intensity/subtleness by two individuals that keep it going. 

Growing old together apart from growing as a person is one of the best things that can happen in a marriage. Whatever may be lacking in your marriage, you can live with it or create it. I know it’s none of my affair, but stay away from an affair.  It’s not worth it.