'We have only each other for company'

Reeta* and Basanti* have lengthy chats.  Over the years, they have shared much of their personal lives with each other. Yet, neither of them knows why the other left her children to move into an old age home.

Each of them realised at some stage that they didn't want to talk about it.  So this part of the past remains unshared.

Reeta and Basanti moved into an old age home run by a temple in New Rajendra Nagar within a few weeks of each other. Neither of them remembers the year, but insists it has been 10 years already. A small room at the Shri Gita Vridha Ashram – equipped with two beds, two almirahs and a ceiling fan – was theirs to share.

“When I first entered the room, the two beds were just where you see them now. Nothing has changed,” says 80-year-old Reeta who is among 13 elderly men and women currently staying at the  home which can house up to 20..

“Some occupants died and some others returned to stay with their families during the last days of their lives,” says Basanti, 73, explaining the reason for the home’s poor occupancy. But she and Reeta have vowed to live out their remaining days here.

Both women hail from financially stable families. Reeta’s daughter is “well-settled” with her family in Noida. She moved into the old age home soon after her husband, running a garments business in Kolkata’s Park Street, died 11 years ago.

“There must be a strong reason why I left my family to stay here. But it was my choice, no one forced me,” says Reeta. “My daughter visits me sometimes and also takes me out,” she adds, quickly mentioning that she also insists that the mother move into their home in Noida.

Basanti’s son, meanwhile, is a property dealer in Delhi’s Sant Nagar. She also has three daughters living in the city. “Majboori thi koi (there was some compulsion). But I like it here now,” she says. Her husband passed away 23 years ago.

She too strongly defends her children, claiming they give her money quite often. But she misses the Rs 1,000 government pension she used to get till seven months ago. Now she gets only Rs 300 from the temple management. “It is sufficient for me,” she says.

She had come to this home with just a couple of sarees. “Devotees used to donate a lot of sarees to us in the initial years. But now we receive fewer clothes. I think it is because of the inflation,” says Basanti.

Neither of the two women agreed to be photographed for this story. “A Hindi newspaper once published my photograph. My niece saw the picture and was shocked to know that I had been living here. She visited me and begged me to stay with her, but I refused,” says Reeta.

Not everyone in their families knows they live in an old age home. The two women keep this to themselves as far as possible to save their children from embarrassment.
The home provides them “good” vegetarian food, toiletries and weekly visits by doctors, all free of charge.

“We are even offered a glass of milk every night,” says Basanti. But they are not permitted to keep an air cooler or a TV set in their rooms because the management wants to keep the electricity bill low.

There is a common TV room for everyone, but Reeta and Basanti avoid going there.
“It is mostly the servants who occupy that room. We belong to good families. Why should we sit with the servants? In any case, the television remote is operated by them,” says Reeta.

The two women get their quota of entertainment from transistor radios, which they keep beside their bed. Reeta prefers to listen to the news while Basanti likes old songs.

Initially Basanti would get irked with Reeta listening to the transistor at loud volume. But she has been bearing with it ever since she got to know that Reeta is hard of hearing.

“We have lived peacefully and without quarreling since the beginning. We have only each other for company and are now like sisters,” says Basanti.

While each others’ constant company has provided them emotional support, they try not to make each other do any physical chores for them.

Basanti has been troubled by severe pain in her left hand for the past few weeks. She presses her own hand whenever it gets  unbearable.

“Why should she (Reeta) press my limbs? Everyone is old here and I am too weak to be able to return the favour,” says Basanti.

Reeta too avoids asking for help. She is constantly ill and for the past couple of weeks has been largely confined to her bed. Helps employed by the old age home have been bringing her food to the room, but there has been no one to wash her clothes.

“She is an orthodox woman. So I don’t ask her to wash my clothes. We help each other by speaking kind words,” Reeta whispers while Basanti is away in the washroom.

The inmates of the Vridha Ashram respond to bells for their every meal. Yet, Reeta and Basanti insist the place gives them freedom from a regimented life.

“At home I have to abide by the family’s routine. Here I can sleep all day long if I want to. I feel free here,” says Reeta whose daughter takes her to her home once in a while. But she says she prefers it at the old age home. “I wait to return here.”