My freedom to jam: ‘Freedom has brought out the worst in us, it means we can’t make excuses any more’

India Today asked Our Last Week, a podcast hosted by Kunaal Roy Kapur and Anuvab Pal what independence means to us. Why we wrote our names in third person, we have no idea. Perhaps our writing is hugely influenced by Bollywood villains or megalomaniacs. Here's an excerpt of what we came up with:

For purposes of logic, sanity, and the basic rules of the English language, Anuvab Pal would be AP (any resemblance to the state of Andhra Pradesh is a comment on his size and, therefore, yes, he is aware he needs to go to a gym).

And Kunaal Roy Kapur, sadly, would abbreviate as KRK (any resemblance to the movie critic and trouble-maker Kamaal R. Khan is unfortunate).

For those who've forgotten, given we are talking about Independence, the English language is the thing the British left behind (besides Bengalis).

AP: Hey

KRK: Hi

AP: India Today wants us to have a WhatsApp discussion on what freedom means.

KRK: Why?

AP: We do that podcast.

KRK: I told the lady to call you and explain

AP: She says she has your number. I figured we are separate human beings. This is for their Independence issue. She also wants a picture of us.

KRK: Ok. I'm in Leh

AP: I'm in Vienna

KRK: Is there a way to take a photo of us together on WhatsApp?

AP: In Vienna?

Signal lost. Later..

AP: Hey I really liked that photo you sent me of that model getting into a fight with bouncers and other models to get Rohit Bal's attention

KRK: Yeah, he became a monk

AP: Rohit Bal?

KRK: No, the model

AP: Ok

KRK: So, Indian Independence

Signal lost. Later..

KRK: I got some wifi. As Baba Sehgal said, 'I want hi fi. I want wifi'.

AP: He said that about Indian Independence?

KRK: I don't think so.

AP: I have Austrian wifi.

KRK: Is that different?

AP: No. The wifi symbol is still the same. It is not in Austrian.

KRK: I don't know what to say about what Independence means to us over texts. Imagine, if Nehru's letters to Indra were on Whatsapp. Those books would never have been published. It would just be about petty logistics and emojis.

AP: Yeah. Papa did you work out in jail today? Smiley face. Wait, Indira autocorrects to Indra? Funny.

Signal lost.

AP: The thing here is that there are certain things we take for granted now, like a Whatsapp chat between Leh and Vienna for which we really need to thank Manmohan Singh.

KRK: He confused us. I often confuse freedom with desire. The wish to do something or travel somewhere. I find myself saying I wish I was free to go to that place and live that life.

AP: Now thanks to this New India thing, it's possible. I read some Mukul Kesavan article where he says we had a simpler life back then. We could say, I really want to go to Austria, but you know what, I can't.

KRK: Brought out the worst in us. We can't make excuses anymore.

AP: Yeah, lazy people have fewer excuses. In the old days, even the songs were less ambitious. Like that old Bollywood song. "Tum bhi chalo. Mein bhi chaloon?"

KRK: Then?

AP: "..chalti rahe zindagi".

KRK: Yeah, that song has zero ambition

AP: Now it's just vodka, party, cash...

KRK: 'Sabka saath sabka vikaas' is now actually a threat. Lazy people like us are threatened by the idea.

AP: Ha, ha. Do you know in Vienna, home of the Viennese coffee, there is a Caf Coffee Day. Right at city centre.

KRK: What? That's mad.

AP: Do the army folks in Leh have access to good wifi?

KRK: Somewhat. The guy I stayed with had his family with him. It goes to -35 in the winter. Wife and a three-year-old.

AP: It's unimaginable what they do for our country. At 16,000 feet. And we complain when our watchman opens the gate one minute late.

KRK: We are the worst complaining s***s

AP: I sometimes think of the people who do the real work in India. The army above Leh, the garbage picker, the all-night security guard... On Independence Day, he should have the right to slap us. For free. As a stress buster for our ingratitude.

KRK: Yes, I think freedom in our country means you are free to treat someone badly.

AP: Also, people say if India wasn't broken up at Partition we'd be unbeatable at cricket.

KRK: Not the way Pakistan is bowling today. By the way, should we address freedom of expression?

AP: As in?

KRK: Why even express anything to a large number of people?

AP: Right. Like this conversation.

KRK: Why do we fight so much for it when there are other things to fight about? Pakistan are suddenly bowling better.

AP: Oh, I like this cream pudding.

KRK: Why do we do freedom of expression in our art? Why not in everyday life?

AP: I think freedom is little things. Like for one second, your wife listens to what you actually said.

KRK: Yes. If people stopped expressing so much and just sat and ate.

AP: On Independence Day, I plan to dress as Lord Mountbatten because I feel he was not given much love that day. You?

KRK: I want someone to ask me how it feels to be a republic on Republic Day

AP: Ha, ha. Are there any freedoms you don't want?

KRK: Many. I don't want people to be free to carry weapons. To discriminate. To be free to be themselves, because we are most dangerous when we are most free.

AP: Freedom is unnecessary, basically. What time is it in Leh?

KRK: Late

AP: You are free to go to sleep?

KRK: No, the three-year-old's crying.