Do men feel threatened by ‘intelligent women’?

Is men refraining from dating intelligent women simply a stereotype? Or is there something more to it? According to the findings of a study conducted by psychologists at the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University and University of Texas, Austin, men who were told they were about to meet a more intelligent woman “distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her.” The key, according to the study, is while men may find intelligence in a woman attractive, they do feel threatened by the physical presence of a clever woman. Feelings of diminished masculinity accounted for men’s decreased attraction toward women, who outperformed them in the live interaction context.

So does beauty trump intelligence?

It’s not as simple as that according to psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal. He says, “It’s not all black and white. Men who are not very confident about themselves or highly rate the social value systems would find an intelligent women attractive but will not look to date or marry them. And this is especially true in the Indian context because an intelligent woman tends to question, find answers or take decisions at time and places which might hurt the male ego.” However, there is hope, Dr Hemant goes on to add, “While that’s one group of men, there’s also the second type, who are extremely confident, independent, and happy with their own creative self. Such men would seek an intelligent woman as their partner. The partner would be emotionally and intellectually challenging and fulfilling. Since the number of these type of men is few, the first category is the one you would find dominating in the society. Which is why there’s the impression that men don’t date intelligent women.”

Why intelligence does not figure in the dating game?

Dr Hemant says intelligence is not measured by the qualifications and degrees one possess. It’s more related to the ability to question, organise, plan or act in a situation. Intelligence makes a lady adjustable, but at the same time independent. Since, most Indian men tend to neglect the quotient of intelligence while choosing a partner, they really get attracted to someone who has it. But the fear of not being up to the mark of such a lady’s expectations discourages them from pursuing long-term relationships.

On the contrary intelligence is highly-prized

Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria, disagrees with the findings of the study and adds, “The real question one needs to ask is how men perceive intelligent women? They may find intelligent women attractive, but when it comes to dating, they feel intimidated because Indian society is a male dominated society, where being competent and competitive are qualities that are particularly important to men. They are perceived to be physically, mentally and emotionally strong and therefore dating intelligent women is considered to be a healthy competition. In contrast to this, I do not completely agree with this research. I am of the opinion that a man doesn’t feel insecure dating an intelligent woman. This can be said because there are real- life examples of well-known celebrities married to smart women. On the contrary they feel secured that the future of their family is in the right hand when they marry an intelligent woman so this, in fact, may be one of the factors that a man may look for while dating a woman.

Moreover a partner who constantly stimulates your intellect can have a positive effect on your cognitive abilities and on your children as well. Men, therefore, perceive that an intelligent woman would create a more pleasant family atmosphere.”

What men look for in the Indian dating scene?

1. Beauty
2. Working or not working
3. Family background
4. Education and qualifications one possess
5. Social acceptability —which would include her friends, family, and a little bit of all the above.

Who wins in the IQ v/s beauty stakes?

There are always individual differences and it varies from person to person, how they think, feel and perceive about these notions. However, considering the societal views about women, unfortunately, the idea persists that a woman’s beauty should be valued more highly than her intellect, but a man who cares about the intelligence of his partner will be better placed to look after his physical and psychological health. And this benefits society too!