Those laalchi people

These cheats want the best of both worlds… “saala ek gender se jee nahi bharta.”  You know what I am talking about? Rather who I am talking about… Tan ta dainnn... here’s presenting Mumbai’s very own laalchi people – THE BISEXUALS! Now who are these laalchi people? Let me try explaining in simple aamchi Mumbaiyya boli… boletoh, they are a part of the LGBT community. They could be maradh or aurat or transgendered people. I mean, it could be a man who loves men, women and all genders. They could be women who love men, women and all genders. They could be transgenders who have or have not undergone an operation to migrate from their gender assigned at birth to a gender that they see themselves in. Irrespective, they could be loving people from two or more than two genders. Irrespective, they are laalchi people.

Most of us LGT (lesbian, gay, transgender) people have gone through our own struggles to understand and conform to our sexuality. Most of the people I have interacted with, at some point of time, thought they were bisexual because society wants us to love the other populous gender, while we want to love our own gender, the best bet is to call yourself bisexual in this transition phase. I did too. But the problem is that because we came out as L/G/T and see bisexuality as that confused in-between state of mind, we tend to generalise it completely.

Also, it is true that because society puts immense pressure on heterosexual marriages, some bisexuals succumb to that and make peace with themselves because they feel sexual and emotional with all genders, especially men and women. This gives LGT people to brand them as cheaters and traitors. They don’t seem to look at themselves as cheaters when they themselves, despite being fully aware of their sexual orientation, get forced into heterosexual marriages.

Somehow, the fact that bisexuals can feel love and attraction towards all genders makes them less vulnerable in our eyes and we tend to take the moral high ground. This makes bisexuals most discriminated in the queer space. ‘It is a phase’, ‘no one can eat just one’, ‘best of both worlds’ are jibes that bisexuals endure regularly.

They don’t find support in the LGT community and straight people think of bisexuals as deviant and ridicule them. There are hardly any forums for bisexual people. And I know exactly two and a three fourth people who are out of the closet as bisexuals even in this big positive gay capital – Bombay!

Goa’s gift to Mumbai, Sonal Giani, is a proud bisexual, who since the very time I have known her, has been only in relationships with women. Yes, she feels sexual and emotional towards men, just as straight women feel sexual towards men, other than their partner. And just as straight women feel attracted towards other men, but don’t start having orgies with all and sundry. Sonal despite being attracted to men, doesn’t end up having a harem of a time every Saturday.

 Bisexual people are people. It is sad that I have to even write this, but yes, they are capable of emotional and physical commitment with their partners. And just as heterosexuals are capable of having many affairs, they are also capable of having a rowing eye and philandering.

Similarly, Mumbaichi Shruta Neytra is a bisexual woman, who is in a monogamous relationship with a man. She is full desi pati vrata with mangal sutra and sindoor at times. She gets attracted to women. She really does.

My friend Yaanus (name changed) is a bisexual man. He is in a committed homosexual relationship for over a decade. He hasn’t confessed to his partner that he is actually bisexual considering his partner is overtly prejudiced against bisexuals. That’s how deeply prejudiced the LGT community is towards bisexuals.

For the sake of an argument, if you think bisexuals are laalchi, then look at your sex life or the absence of it, and see how many people you sleep with. Especially, gay people. You are laalchi within your gender. There is no pride for some of us, till there is pride for all of us. In short, if you can’t stand up for bisexuals, you can’t pride yourself by being an LGBT supporter.

Laalchi tar laalchi.. chal..

Samajla kaa? Ki kaanaath khaali du?

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