Butterflies in the tummy at work?

Most companies tend to discourage romance at the workplace as it could mess with the focus of those involved and affect their productivity. Even if yours doesn’t, it is important to maintain etiquette while getting romantically involved with a colleague. Here, we discuss a few scenarios and how one could handle them.

Workplace meet-cuteYou exchange glances with an attractive coworker at lunch and sparks fly. There is no harm in asking him or her out for a cup of coffee later to see where it can go. It might be a short-lived romance or it might evolve into something serious. It is important that you have an honest conversation early on about your expectations. Being upfront will help you avoid awkwardness or even viciousness later. 

Personal and professional lives are best kept separate, but here the lines blur a little. If things go south, chances are you will suffer some awkwardness at first. Still, it’s something that can be overcome if both of you are mature individuals who can be professional without letting what happened between you affect your work. 

 Shweta and Ashish worked in different departments in the same office. Their paths often crossed at meetings, while passing by each other in the corridors and more intimately at meal and coffee times. It didn’t take long for them to realise they had feelings for one another. They decided to go on a coffee date and really hit it off. They later met over dinners and made plans on weekends. The pace of their relationship was just right. It worked out in their favour and eventually, they got married.

However, Nisha’s office romance had a different outcome. There was awkwardness from the very beginning and both of them realised that it was not working out. Soon, they called it off before it went any further. They handled the situation sensibly and continued to work together until one of them found a better job. 

Infatuation with the boss Steer clear of this one. More often than not, getting involved with the boss will land you in a soup. And if things turn sour, you will be the one that’s out hunting for a job! A boss marrying a subordinate is something you only heard of in the yesteryears. It’s very rare in this time and age. In most cases, it is the subordinate who is left heartbroken with a tainted reputation.

Hot married colleague This one is even worse than the last. Dating or developing feelings for a married person is like walking into a blasting minefield, even after reading the danger sign. AVOID. 

Offsite romance When single, most people look for a Before Sunrise kind of experience when they travel. Getting attracted to a colleague while away on a work trip is extremely common. The energy is different, there is a kind of ease in the atmosphere; all conducive to spark a romance. 

Flirt, laugh and enjoy the moment. However, do not give your heart away till you are back to reality. Only when the adrenaline wears off will you know exactly how you feel. 

Nisha and Rajeev had a great time during their project in Goa. After the daytime conferences, they would hang out at the beach and attend evening parties. Love was in the air. But once they returned to their respective cities, work and personal commitments took over. Soon, they realised they were not making time for each other even if they could because the attraction was indeed a short-lived one. Things were awkward for a bit but thankfully, they both settled down eventually. How to handle gossip This is a by-product of any office romance, whether it is you who is involved or someone else. You might be the perpetrator or the subject of the juicy titbits doing the rounds on the floor. 

If you are the one who is involved with a colleague, you might want to stay on top of your responsibilities and make sure no one gets a chance to point fingers at you. Walk with your head held high. Liking or loving someone is not a crime (do heed to the advice about bosses and married colleagues, though). 

And if you are a third party deriving pleasure from microanalysing someone else’s private life, try to put yourself in their shoes. Do not add fuel to the fire.

(The author is the founder of FLOH, an offline dating community)