This was published 7 years ago
Could Mark Philippoussis provide the answer to the Nick Kyrgios dilemma?
Could the Poo be the answer for Nick Kyrgios? TFF has long maintained that in terms of wasted tennis talent, the only one who approaches Kyrgios was Mark Philippoussis, who had the complete game but, after bursting onto the tour in the mid-1990s, never quite got there because his work ethic never matched his colossal talent.
Poo seems to recognise that himself, saying this week of Kyrgios: "Blink and he'll be 26 years old and all of a sudden he'll be kind of mid-20s or maybe 30 in the world and it'll be like 'what happened to him?' If I was coaching Nick, I would say what's very important is that you can't change who you are. Everyone is their own person and has their own personality.
"But at the same time I'd just tell him a couple of things about being aware of where he is and realising what he has and not taking that for granted. Just try and reach out to him because, truthfully, if there's one person that can relate to certain things that he's going through, it's me."
Exactly. So, what about it, Nick Kyrgios?
Mark Philippoussis did not squander his ability but nor did he maximise what he had.Credit: Eddie Jim
The Poo as your coach, getting you out of bed and getting you going every morning, a living example of opportunities lost, could be the answer!
A rational response
How do you know you are the target of a beat-up to beat all beat-ups? I reckon it is when Andrew Bolt turns his guns on you, and not even the trolls have got their heart in going at you!
The yarn turns on TFF doing the SKY Sports Tonight show. In the face of the aggressive security guard with the South African cricket team shoving the Australian TV reporter into the glass wall at the airport, I referred to the aggressor, as a "gorilla", using the well-known Australian parlance for, "an aggressive security guard", not dissimilar to the Oxford dictionary definition, "1.informal, A heavily built aggressive-looking man".
Illustration: John Shakespeare
Still, the instant I said it, a very small alarm bell rang, as I noted that the security guard in question had dark skin, and "gorilla" can also be used as an appalling and unforgivable racial epithet, as it was with Adam Goodes last year, so I instantly followed up, saying "and I use the term in the Australian sense, which refers to security guards".
All good? Nah. Better idiot-proof it, I thought. Just to be doubly sure, I laboured the point and said, "just to avoid an international incident, I want to make clear, that 'gorilla' is Australian terminology for security".
My co-panelists, James Bracey, Jim Wilson and Richard Freedman, didn't blink. Familiar with the Australian vernacular, they knew exactly the sense I meant it in, telling me off-camera they thought my addendums unnecessary. Twitter felt the same. Not a tweet. No one who saw it had any confusion.
By Wednesday I had forgotten it. Then, Thursday evening, I gather Bolt had a go at me on what I think must be his blog and then ... just about nothing.
A few half-hearted digs, true, but when the attack was too ludicrous and lacking in credibility even for the trolls, you know there is still some sanity in the world. I will say, however, that it would be bloody strange if I was racist towards black South Africans when, in the 1980s, I was far and away the loudest Wallaby to speak out strongly against apartheid, and I think the only one to publicly and vociferously support the sanctions against touring?
Stranger still, that circa 1993, I was on the organising committee and MC-ed the Sydney Town Hall fundraiser for Nelson Mandela as he emerged from prison after 27 years, to launch himself and his people in their first election campaign in the newly liberated South Africa?
And that, consequently, the most treasured possession in my house is the signature of Nelson Mandela. Strange days, indeed. Still, when you have even got the trolls with you, you must be doing something right!
Unlucky character: Steve Smith.Credit: Ryan Pierse
What's doing?
TFF noted a fortnight ago that things are getting so grim for the Australian cricket team that they might be excused for doing a victory lap if they win so much as the toss. And what a victory lap it will be!
For even there, it is starting to become a long time between drinks, as Steve Smith has now lost seven – count 'em, seven – tosses on the trot! So here is today's mathematics quiz for your teenage HSC maths aspirant.
Let's say Smith keeps going, and goes on to lose the next three tosses, too, meaning 10 tosses on the trot. Question: As he goes for the 11th toss, what are the chances he will lose that, too*?
Keeping it real
TFF was bemused to see an interview with Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, this week bitterly complaining of his treatment at the hands of media.
I was reminded of the famed words of the president of the Scottish Rugby Union to the Wallabies, after the 1988 Test between the two sides at Murrayfield.
In the after-match function, the old man gave some timely advice. "Always remember in your dealings with the media, boys, it's like making love to a porcupine. At the end of the day, you're just one prick against 1000."
What They Said
Shane Warne on the South African cricket captain's move to suddenly declare his team's innings closed: "I tell you what, it's another big tick for Faf du Plessis with his captaincy. I reckon he's worked that out. He knows that David Warner stayed off the field for too long and he's declared at 9-259 to try and eke out some extra runs. Australia have missed a trick and South Africa, they're right on the ball."
Indian cricket captain Virat Kohli on what it takes when he wants to go out on the town in India: "It takes a lot of planning. For dinner, you need a police guard in front of the vehicle you are in, then you need to inform people at the restaurant to keep a table in the corner, not have any people close to that table. The main thing in our country is that people like to grab you and touch you and feel if you are real or not. I promise you." You know what, honey? Tonight, let's just stay home.
Faf du Plessis hasn't lost his sense of humour as the whole lolly imbroglio has taken over from the series win: "That's taken all the shine away from that, excuse the pun."
Anna Meares on the Brisbane Velodrome being named after her: "I'm happy to be alive to see this. In 100 years' time when I'm long gone, the next generations will see my family name live on."
The former North Sydney Bear Billy Moore – "and originator of the Queenslander! cry" – on the NSW-Queensland rivalry: "It doesn't matter if it's rugby league, football or marbles. When sky blue plays maroon, everyone north of the Tweed cares." They ARE a weird mob!
Italian rugby captain Sergio Parisse reveals that a chat with coach Conor O'Shea over coffee in Paris was the secret to their success: "Three or four months ago I had a coffee with Conor in Paris and one of the first things he said to me was, 'We have to beat South Africa'. I paid for the coffee. I was totally in agreement with him!" We need Conor to have some coffee with Michael Cheika, before the next Bledisloe. It is all so simple!
The Springboks have now lost six of their past seven Tests and their coach Allister Coetzee is facing the chop: "I'd say it's the darkest moment of my coaching career."
Ricky Ponting knows how to fix cricket in Australia: "Cricket Australia know this, I've been telling them this for a hundred years, they have to look at maybe paying state coaches more and trying to get the so-called experts in the game."
Getting wise in his old age: James O'Connor.
Over the hill 26-year-old James O'Connor looking back: "Nine years ago, shit ... I don't know how I was playing Super Rugby back then. I was about 80 kilos wringing wet. It's been nine years, it puts it into perspective. I'm getting old. Sometimes you look back and laugh and you think, 'f---, what was I thinking'?"
Manchester United's manager, Jose Mourinho after a 1-1 draw with Arsenal: "They are the lucky ones and we are the unlucky ones. The team played very well. This team at the moment is the unluckiest team in the Premier League. That is the reality."
Warriors coach Steve Kerr on a rowdy Celtics crowd: "It's just the beer talking ..."
Mariners coach Paul Okon confused by some referee decisions: "I'd prefer to go for a beer – me and you – and have a chat about something else, than go over the explanation as to why the referee and the linesman, who were 10 metres away, didn't see the handball against the Wanderers."
Team of the Week
Andy Murray. Finishes the year in style, with a great win over Novak Djokovic, in the ATP World Tour Finals, to finish the year with the No.1 ranking. It is possible, just possible, that as Federer fades, Nadal nosedives and Djokovic djrifts, the Age of Murray has begun. That is, unless Kygrios gets the Poo. (See item.)
Faf du Plessis. Though bloody lucky to be taking his spot in the side after being fined, not suspended, after being caught flagrantly, and likely fragrantly, shining the ball with lolly-spit – totally against the rules – his captaincy has been clever.
Italian Rugby Test XV. Defeated the once mighty Springboks 20-18, in Florence, the first such victory for the Azzuri in 13 attempts. When you put it with Ireland's wonderful win over the All Blacks a fortnight ago – their first in 29 attempts since 1905 – these are good times for international rugby.
Steve Johnson. The 33-year-old Greater Western Sydney veteran ruptured a thumb tendon when reaching into a bag to get his phone, and will miss training for several weeks.
Wallabies. Take on the Irish this weekend. If they can win, to make it four out of four on their spring tour, it will set them for a great encounter against Eddie Jones' English side at Twickenham next week. But Ireland will be tough!
Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
* The answer is, of course, 50 per cent. It's along the same lines as the fact that even if I tossed a coin 99 times, and it came up "heads," every time, the chances of it coming up heads 100 times are still 50 per cent. You know 100 heads in a row are very unlikely, I know 100 heads in a row are very unlikely ... but the coin doesn't!