Do men and women think about casual sex differently?

When it comes to sexual fantasies, many have fessed up on wanting to get down and dirty on the back seat of the car or a quickie in the changing room. But did you know what tops a hot-blooded man or woman’s carnal desires? A steamy encounter with a stranger! Yes, save that blush because casual sex is here to stay. Ask anyone who’s toyed with the idea and they’ll say that the combined sense of the forbidden and adventure is what makes it so enticing.However, the prudes can take heart as a new research has something with which they can turn around and say, ‘I told you so’.
What men regret v/s what women regret
Would you believe it if you were told that what men regret most about casual sex is that they consciously avoided any future contact with the sexual partner? Yes, that’s true. Women, predictably, were wracked by guilt of having been too easy or quick to have jumped into bed with a stranger.
Says sexologist Nivant Goenka, “Men are known to avoid intimacy and leave as soon as they are through with having sex. And how women react after casual sex is completely based on the quality of sex, not the quantity.” Seconding Goenka, counsellor Kapil Mehra adds, “There’s still something about a woman’s sexuality that the society is scared of. However, when it comes to men, it’s different as they have been brought up in a certain manner. But men do think that a casual encounter could have converted into a meaningful relationship.”
Although men in our country have been granted more sexual impunity than women, there is a segment that does not follow the ‘wham-bam-thankyou-mam’ philosophy. In fact, some try to keep in touch with the women they’ve had hook ups with. Ragini Sootha (name changed), an event management executive, is vociferous about generalisations. “It is not really true that men only want to hook up and women only want a committed relationship,” she says.
Mehra, however, points out that those who tend to indulge in casual sex are often commitment phobic and therefore, it’s not surprising that they resort to ghosting.
It ain’t all that bad
The age of ‘swipe right’ has opened up a veritable supermarket for casual sex. Says beauty blogger Pritha Khurana (name changed) who uses dating apps and has indulged in casual sex a couple of times, “One of the most positive things that has come in the wake of these fast-dating apps is that they have thrown out dated notions of branding women indulging in casual sex. In fact, it has also crashed the beliefs that it will destroy us.”
Seconding her is Kunal Purohit (name changed), an advertising professional. He says, “Relationship or not, casual sex helps you break-free, makes you feel wanted, and satisfies your physical urges. There’s nothing wrong in it.”
What research says...
Findings of a new research state that many have ended with feelings of regret after a casual sex encounter. They wished that they had not acted on impulse. But what’s even more interesting are the reasons attributed to it — it varies from gender to gender. While it’s true that there’s a cauldron of emotions running through a person’s mind — the reasons leading to casual sex depend on the gender of a person. It could be anything from the need to be comforted, a feeling of worthlessness, rejection, shame, guilt, frustration as well as a feeling of revolt.
Types of casual sex
After-party crash
An opportunity to have a steamy session with a stranger opens up after you’ve partied hard and are a few drinks down. It’s the most common casual sex scenario.
Friend’s bathroom sex
It’s another common scenario for strangers to indulge in. You remember that party when the hot topic that evening was finding a couple locked in a bathroom. Should you find yourself in it, make sure the toilet seat is sealed properly or else, you’ll end up flushing your valuables.
Changing room quickie
What if you bump into this really cute chick/guy you’ve been fancying while you are trying out a few formals for your new job? And you end up making out in a cramped changing room? Just make sure you don’t make too much noise as others are trying to concentrate on shopping.
Experimental sex
There are times when you just want to indulge or explore something new without feeling the need to have emotions attached to it, this is your time to go ahead and do just that. After all feeding your sexual desire is a big part of finding yourself.
Booty call sex
There are times when you just want to switch off from all the worldly stress and break-free, so you call up an acquaintance or a friend with whom you have established a purely sexual connection, for a late-night booty call.
Ground rules to make the most of it
If you have made up your mind about not wanting to be in a committed relationship, here’s what you should do to prevent any messy entanglements...
Keep emotions at bay
Remember, there is no place for emotions in casual sex. So make sure to keep them strictly outside the room before you take the plunge.
Be different

The best part about casual sex is that you can be anything, but yourself in it. So, if you want to play out a role to spice up the act, you can and no one will judge you for it. Being someone who is completely different from your real personality can bring a sense of fun to a sexual encounter.
Unleash the animal in you
During the moments on the dance-floor that lead up to your room, increase the tempo of your passion as gradually as you can. Keep the passion levels high as that’s the one thing they will remember long after the encounter, so make sure you are at your wildest best.
Keep it short and sweet
Make sure not to linger around for too long after you are done making love by making small talk. But don’t just get up and walk away either.
Ask questions
Asking questions is one of the most important things, you need to ask yourself as well as your partner some really significant questions like — is this going to be a regular affair, are we going to take it further, what are the rules if we meet again, etc.
Be fearless
When you sign up for casual sex, it is almost like staring death in the face. Make sure you have nothing to lose, be it emotions or any kind of stake in the relationship. The fun encounter may continue, or may never happen again. Whatever be the status, be ready for the consequences. Simply live in the moment.