The bitter memories of playing hockey, in Dhanraj Pillay’s words

Dhanraj Pillay and Indian hockey are synonymous, or at least, so it has been so for over two decades now. He appeared in the Indian squad in 1988 after the Seoul Olympics. After Leslie Claudius and Udham Singh, Dhanraj is the only player to have played in four Olympics successively. People across the globe used to identify Indian hockey with Dhanraj. He still continues to be the single most popular name in the sport and why not? – He has played for the country for 16 years, the only player to hold such a status and record. He was never just a hype as coaches wanted hockey lovers to believe. It was Dhanraj’s superlative game in 2002 Champions Trophy that set up hockey’s resurrection phase and also brought in money into the game. The nation sees him as a hero and he was not just a play maker in the team but an image maker of hockey too.

“There has been no captain like Dhanraj. No one can fill his shoes and the federation too never did anything to fill the void he left behind,” opines Arjun Halappa, India player.

For a player of such exceptional caliber, a humiliating farewell was the worst parting gift offered by the officials who run the sport. He bid goodbye to hockey in 2004 after a humiliating gesture in the Athens Olympics where he was made to sit out without allowing him to play full 70 minutes – a painful memory which Dhanraj still carries in his heart.

In Bangalore for the World Series Hockey, Dhanraj will appear in front of hockey lovers again. Whether his magic will be recreated is not known but the passion he has for the game remains untouched.

In an exclusive interview with Sportskeeda.com, the living legend of Indian hockey gets emotional about the way he was treated by the officials and also recalls the bitter memories that refuse to fade.

Excerpts:

Nandini: It’s great to have you back on the hockey field. But do you think Dhanraj Pillay can still create that magic on the field?

Dhanraj: I have been working on getting fit to see myself on the field playing with all the youngsters, especially with my teammates – Arjun Halappa (team captain) and others. I am trying my best to get fitter so I can sustain myself through the game.

Nandini: At 43, you think playing full 70 minutes of hockey will be a challenge for you?

Dhanraj: It will be a challenge not only for me but for every senior player. ‘If Dhanraj can play at 43 then why not we?’ I think whoever it is: Viren Rasquinha, Gaganjeet Singh, they left playing for the country a few years ago but are playing in WSH. It gives a lot of motivation when u see your senior players play. It gives a lot of motivation when you appreciate your junior players. Arjun is the fittest player in today’s hockey and I hope I can sustain the pace with Arjun and others. We have a good forward line like Ravipal, Gurnail Singh, Amar Aiyamma and also two Pakistani players. It will be real fun to play among all these players and I am looking forward to it.

Nandini: When you quit international hockey, it was not an ideal farewell that you bid. You left on a bitter note and sadly, the same – not respecting a player’s efforts enough and downsizing seniors despite showing form—still seems to continue…

Dhanraj: Hockey India or Indian Hockey Federation has never felicitated Indian players. They have always criticized players, not just me it has been going on for long time. I was the only player in the country to play for 16 years. On astro turf it takes a lot of pain to sacrifice but IHF never recognized my hard-work and whatever I have given to Indian hockey. They have not given me that respect. I knew it will be my last game in Athens. They humiliated me. They have done a lot of wrong things. I could have played full 70 mins in Athens and they could have given me a farewell there and had an exhibition match here when we came back and announced that Dhanraj is retiring from hockey. I could have taken my retirement very gracefully and happily. But they have not done that and this regret is always there in my heart.

Senior journalists know what I have done for the country. IHF don’t have any regrets, they say that whatever best they could do they have done. That’s why you see now players like Arjun are sitting out. He should have been in Delhi playing the qualifying tournament.

Vikram Pillay, Adrian D’Souza, Deepak Thakar, they were all fit enough to play for the country. But likes and dislikes are there.

Nandini: Knowning the scenario in hockey, why do you think any youngster in the country should even opt to play this sport?

Dhanraj: Just play for your passion and interest. When I started playing I never dreamed that I will play for the country and be the only player to play four Olympics. I was just playing. Hockey was in my blood, all my four brothers, my father and my uncle played hockey, that’s why I continued playing hockey. But time has changed now. Parents don’t want their children to play hockey because there is no money or glamour. That’s why they want their kids to play tennis, golf or chess. You can earn respect in an individual sport. But playing hockey brings a lot of satisfaction. Hockey has given me everything– fame, name, luxury, house. But everybody cannot be like Dhanraj Pillay – it takes time. Nobody will achieve easily what I have achieved over the years. But I will always have the regret of not winning an Olympic medal.

Nandini: In the past two decades, have you seen a positive development in the country’s progress in sports?

Dhanraj: In hockey, no I have not seen any development. However, WSH has given a lot of mileage to hockey. When you talk about HI and IHF, we have only got negative mileage. Nothing has come up. WSH is a positive step not just for federation but also for the players. In the last 30years I have not seen a player or a coach signing a contract for 15 lakhs. When something good is going on why is HI having a problem? Why object? The ministry has also said that after the qualifiers, you should release all the players. But every second day there is negative news about whether WSH will succeed or not. This will give negative mileage to the spectators who want to come and watch.

Nandini: Even after almost seven years of giving up International hockey, you still seem to be bitter about all that’s happened…

Dhanraj: I was the only player to speak against the federation. Why I used to talk was because things were going wrong. If they did good things I would be the first person to appreciate them. When KPS Gill was there I used to appreciate his hard work and whatever he has done for 3-4 years. After that he started doing all the wrong things and I used to have a lot of problems with him. But he was the person who used to understand. Today I feel he was the best man to handle Indian Hockey Federation.

They formed the ad hoc committee which even I was a part of, but after two years I was telling people that things should not be like this and Kalmadi removed me. Aslam Sher Khan, Ashok Kumar and I were taken out though we were doing well. I was in the selection panel also and we amended a lot of rules. Somewhere I feel they don’t need honesty and good things to happen. You have to butter officials and do their household work to stay in their good books.

Nandini: If given a chance, would you go back and change things?

Dhanraj: I am 100 percent sure they will not call me and give me that opportunity to be in the federation. For the last 2-3 years I have been sitting out and no one has asked me to join them. They do talk to me sometimes. Narendra Batra (HI general secretary) calls me. But it is just like –Dhanraj was a great player but we don’t need his services. We have others to be good with us and also play a diplomatic game. I am very shocked to see people who have not played hockey for years to handle affairs.

I am very unhappy with the person handling Hockey India – Mr Anupam Gulati. I have never seen him hold a hockey stick in his life. He was just a commentator. Through hockey he must have made his life but he is the executive director of HI. I feel sad whoever comes into federation whether it is hockey player or not they involve in politics. Whether it is Pargat Singh or Subbhaiah, whoever it may be.

Nandini: What is the best thing that you will remember?

Dhanraj: There are a lot of good memories– 1998 Asian Games, SAF Games final in 95, 2003 with Sahara India coming into Indian hockey, when sponsorship started coming into hockey. I was the one to go speak to Sahara Shri and request him to give some money on per month basis. He announced 25,000 and that was a big amount at that time for hockey players. I was happy. These are the good memories I carry with me. I could have done a much better job if I was in Indian hockey today. I have become a middle man between Hockey India and players and do whatever little I can even now.

Nandini: You have had bitter experiences with foreign coaches. Do you still believe we can do better without them?

Dhanraj: I had said back then (when I was playing) also, that that kind of a coach could have been avoided. The day he landed in Holland airport, I had said he won’t be a good coach. He was not a coach. He was not a coach for Indian hockey. We have had very good coaches, I can say that because I have gone through all the coaches. I don’t consider Brasa also as one of the good coaches. Ric Charlesworth, Oltmans, Terry Walsh, they could have changed Indian hockey, their demands also was not as much as these coaches now. I feel sad that we are wasting money on unnecessary things. When Indian coaches demand something they will be sacked or criticized. I don’t see why Indian hockey needs foreign coaches. In next ten years, if Indian hockey remains like this, we will not reach semis of a World Cup or Olympics. If it happens then it will be a miracle and it will be only because of players.

To beat the Australian team you need at least five years of hard-work and you need to start that today. We will play well no doubt but we will lose. Singapore and all is not the countries to play and win against. No doubt even we played qualifiers in our days but the teams were tough, we had Holland, Spain and New Zealand.