What Drunk History Can Teach Us About Drunk Current Events

GQ asked Drunk History creator Derek Waters and his co-star Duncan Trussell to analyze the biggest issues of the modern age (while smashed)
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Illustration by Ward Sutton

Drunk History, Comedy Central’s boozy historical re-enactment show, combines two of Derek Waters’s passions: storytelling and getting people extremely inebriated. When GQ contacted Waters and his comedian friend (and frequent Drunk History guest) Duncan Trussell by Skype (mid-prep for season four, premiering tonight at at 10:30), the duo was “pretty buzzed,” having just polished off a “really nice” bottle of wine and some beers. They continued sipping as they staggered forward in time to give their tipsy takes on the hot topics of today.

GQ: Which is better: Snapchat or Instagram?

Waters: To me, Snapchat has always been this jerk-off app: “My face is a Suicide Squad face! That’s so crazy!” I like Instagram better than Snapchat because it’s easier to say “Fuck off!” [to someone’s selfie] than it is to a 15-second video.

Trussell: When you upload a picture of your delicious Caesar salad to Instagram, you don’t realize that what you’re doing is leaving a tiny little footprint that will be there forever. This seems to be a human impulse. When you see a picture of a woolly mammoth on a cave wall, that’s weirdly similar to a person’s lasagna that they thought looked delicious. People have been sharing pictures of their food for as long as there’s been caves. But with Snapchat, the footprint disappears. History is erased.

Is Virtual Reality a good addition to reality?

Trussell: Marriages are going to fall apart, since the question of what is cheating will emerge. If you experience porn in VR, is it cheating? Is it cheating if you fuck an AI?

Waters: I just experienced my first VR experience. I felt sick. I feel sick. I love the idea of being in a new world. I love the idea of walking in a new world, but I got motion sickness. I don’t know if I want that to be the future.

New research suggests the existence of “vigilante” humpback whales that patrol the ocean protecting vulnerable animals (like seals, sea lions, and whale calves) from orca attacks. Does this indicate nature is falling apart or getting its act together?

Trussell: Is this some kind of war? Are we witnessing a war between whale species, where one has figured out a way to disrupt the feeding of its enemies? The orcas hunt the humpbacks’ calves. To think that an entire species has decided to side with animals that are being hunted by alpha predators is just wild. They’ve decided, “No, it’s gone too far. You orcas have got to stop killing these sweeties.”

Waters: It’s about time.

Trussell: Orcas are dicks, man.

What effect will Pokémon Go ultimately have on mankind?

Trussell: Pokémon Go is the first flower growing on the trellis of GPS coordinates. In the future, if you have augmented-reality goggles on, when you drive by the homes of sex offenders, the houses can glow a bright red or some demonic arrow can point down to them from space: “Rapist! Rapist! Rapist!”

Waters: I think if there’s anything that can help fat kids get out of the house and anybody to move, it’s a positive thing.