The Slatest

CNN Counts Bombings and Protests Over Police Shootings as Political “Wins” This Week for Trump

Screenshot CNN

TGIF! Right? And since it’s Friday, CNN thought that would be a good time to—ding! ding! ding!—declare a winner in the microtargeted world of weekly presidential politics. There was, of course, nothing to actually win this week because there were no ballots cast, just fleeting points to be had or lost in the imaginary mini-elections we like to call polls. (OK, technically there was some early voting this week in a handful of states.)

To determine a winner, CNN did what a lot of us do: Made a tally of pros and cons for each candidate. CNN registered two “wins” for Donald Trump and his campaign to become the President of the United States of America. One win, “narrows the swing state gap,” seems like a clear win if you’re a candidate. And the second Trump win this week, according to CNN? “Bombings, Police Protest Fit Campaign Narrative.” Wait, what? A bombing terrorizing and injuring dozens in New York and New Jersey is a Trump campaign win? Black men getting shot by police officers, which then sparks protests about the treatment of black communities by the police force is another Trump win? Seems like these should be separate star bullet points, CNN. They’re kind of biggies. At least we’re counting the “Skittles Controversy” as a net loss for Team Trump.

What is helpful about this idiotic CNN graphic, which was surely first conceived via feverish collaboration between Wolf Blitzer and Don Lemon handwritten in magic marker, is that it reminds us of one crucial fact: What’s good for Trump is bad for America.