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The armada was huge. There were ships for as far as the eye could see, with sails showing the Kraken of House Greyjoy, the Flower of House Tyrell, the Pierced Sun of House Dorne and the Three Headed Dragon of House Targaryen. And then the three great dragons of Daenerys Stormborn - Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion flew through the shot…and the screen faded to black.
My joy quickly turned to horror. Season six of Game of Thrones had come to an end, and I had to wait another year at least before I could get my fix of scandal, deceit, corruption and …well tits. Or so I thought.
I then realised that what is happening in South Africa is currently our version of Game of Thrones, which I have dubbed Game of Rogues (Trademark Pending). Actually, it reminds me of the events that led to Robert’s Rebellion. For those of you who are not fan of A Song of Ice and Fire, let me draw the parallels for you between the events leading up to Robert’s Rebellion and the Gordhan vs Government debacle we are currently witnessing.
There is King Arys, known as The Mad King. He is corrupt with power and is willing to burn his kingdom and all his citizens if it benefits him. In other words…he is Jacob Zuma. Like Arys, Zuma has surrounded himself with people intent on keeping him in power as it will make them all very wealthy. One of these people, is Petyr Baelish – the Master of Coin. Or should we say, the Guptas. The Guptas/Baelish are using their influence on the King/Zuma to manipulate the fairs of the Kingdom/State to financial benefit themselves. Also, like Baelish who owns brothels, the Gupta’s believe the people of South Africa are theirs to screw over.
Are you all following? Good. Now, my fellow Game of Thrones/ASOIAF fans, please forgive me as I am about to pervert the timeline and stories of Westeros to allow me to continue with my analogy.
Now enter, Praven Gordhan who will be playing the role of Ned Stark. After the King/Zuma got rid of Nhlanhla Nene/Jon Aryan (Hand of the King) because he blocked the corrupt deals involving SAA and Eskom/Nuclear power, he tried to appoint Patchface the Fool (Des Van Rooyen) who would be far more pliable to the whims of the Mad King (I know, I know, Oh oh oh oh). But there was a hint of a revolt, so he quickly brought Gordhan in to steady the ship. Gordhan/Stark is a most trusted man, and all are relieved, including the Iron Bank of Braavos (The rating agencies) who were about to recall their loans/give South Africa a downgrade.
But, now that Gordhan is in his role, he sees what Nene (Aryan) had been killed/fired to cover up. The fact that the seed (of corruption) is strong in South Africa. So Gordhan refuses to sign for the R5 Billion SAA loan and the R1 trillion nuclear project as they Reek (see what I did there). He also wants to investigate Baelish/Guptas corrupt dealings with the King/Zuma. But the mad King can’t have that. So he instructs Janos Slynt/ Berning Ntlemnza, the leader of the City Watch/Hawks who was found by a South African court as lacking integrity, to find evidence to put a Gordhan on trial for…anything really. And by evidence, he means any evidence, and by find…well…
Slynt/Ntlemenza harasses Stark/Gordhan who refuses to be intimidated, so Slynt takes what he has to Grand Maester Pycelle/Shaun Abrahams of the National Prosecuting Authority, another lackey of The Mad King/Zuma who must now decide how they will proceed, while saying to South Africa, “We promise to execute Stark/Gordhan after a fair trial”. And now…we are waiting for the next episode of this saga to unveil. But I think this about sums up the unfolding Game of Rogues we are witnessing. Plus, as you can see by the people involved, Game of Rogues has more tits in it than Game of Thrones.
But jokes aside, this entire Gordhan/ Zuma affair means one of two things. Either, Praven Gordhan, perhaps one of a handful of ANC members who can still be trusted is actually corrupt, or the ANC is targeting one of their few leaders who is not corrupt. Either way, South Africa is being treated like one of those women in Baelish’s Brothel.
