By Madeline White
Where did we get this idea that love at first sight was the end of the story? Alain de Botton, modern philosopher, blames 18th century Romantic literature (think Flaubert, Austen, Keats), which advertised a new conception of love – with the soulmate at the centre. Even today, our pop songs, our films, and our TV shows all perpetuate the lie. With such high expectations of our partners, it's no wonder so many of us end up unhappy in love. De Botton thinks it's best not to fuss too much about finding the perfect match. His philosophy: "If you find them attractive, you get on with them, they like you, etcetera, that's going to be as good as you need."
At first sight, The Bachelor seems to be the worst of the lot. But this show doesn't perpetuate the myth of Romanticism – it parodies it. Beach walks, sunsets and candles are so overdone it can only be comedy. Romantic tropes are turned on their heads.
Richie Strahan with the contestants hoping to win his hand in The Bachelor.
De Botton says we're all a bit mad, and the best way to make a relationship work is to be honest – explain your unique brand of crazy from the outset. Which The Bachelor is perfect for. No one could accuse contestant Janey of hiding her eccentricities – in the first episode she announced that her "passions" included herself, glitter, mermaids and unicorns. While wearing a fairy costume.
Well, at least that's out in the open. She even played a card from Cinderella's playbook, leaving a singular heel behind at the opening party (and howls of laughter echoing around lounge rooms). Janey didn't let the Disney reference die there. "There is someone out there who will love everything about me. And I will find him ... my Prince Charming."
Disney princess tales are modern incarnations of the Romanticism de Botton rails against. And here, the Cinderella story is laboured over and lampooned. Janey is so childlike, so starry-eyed, and so clearly from the land of fairytales, but any viewer waiting for Mr/s Right can see themselves reflected in their screen. And how truly ridiculous the idea of Prince Charming seems. De Botton would be thrilled.
In a recent talk at the Melbourne Town Hall, de Botton gave some surprising final words of advice: have an expensive wedding. It's harder to back out of a relationship after such fanfare, and he thinks that's a healthy thing. And it can only be harder to back out when a whole nation is watching. Maybe really is the perfect way to find Happily Ever After.
Madeline White is a freelance writer.