Will more women's careers get sacrificed post marriage?

We don't want our son's wife to act in films. There was a quarrel between Vijay and Amala on this and she said she would stop acting. But after a brief period, she started signing films again. She does not listen to anyone and is disobedient. Our son's happiness is important for us and soon Vijay and Amala will be filing for mutual divorce,' said AL Alagappan in a recent television interview.
The 'disobedient woman' Alagappan mentioned in his interview is not just his daughter-in-law, but also one of the top stars of South Indian cinema ' Amala Paul.And her 'disobedience' here is that she pursued a career against the wishes of her in-laws.
The dichotomy of it is that the man doesn't seem to get it that unlike his director son who had a producer father to back his filmi dreams, Amala is a self-made professional, who went on to become a household name across South India.
Strangely, Alagappan is not only the one who thinks Amala, the star, is a disobedient wife. He finds scores of supporters online lauding him and his son for divorcing a woman who doesn't 'listen'. Comments like 'kudumbam nokkan thatparyamillathavar ee panikku pokaruthu,' 'nadimar swapna lokathanu. Jeevithathil cinemayepole jeevikkan sramikkum' and 'career is not important than husband', only reflect the partiarchial tendency of our society, which feels an actress cannot make a respectable daughter-in-law and a woman must give up her career, no matter how successful she is, to put her marriage first. Amala is definitely not the only star who was asked to sacrifice her career and identity, at the altar of marriage. While the film industry has a long history of some of its best actresses giving up films at the peak of their careers, the current crop of actresses do not endorse the patriarchal thought of the society where women are just relegated to the homes'
Women like us need men who are much more secure
MAMTA MOHANDAS
I think the trouble in paradise crops up when people take for granted the 'role' they have to play when they are married, in the midst of excitement. In this context, I feel all women, not just actresses, go through the pressure of having to prove themselves in this new role as a wife first. And this goes on until the men feel they are completely in charge just to massage the male ego, rather than allowing her to work.
In case of actresses, it's stressful and takes up a lot of our time focusing on just ourselves, how we look, what we wear, shoot timings, industry networking, travel et al. According to him, she has nothing much to prove professionally. To him, she should mostly spend her time thinking about his job, diet, laundry and waiting for the day she can have his babies. And, once all this is over, if she's scored a 15 on 10, he might think of allowing her to return to work someday.
Women who are actresses, public figures or are influential, often face this at much more incogitable levels because we often leave our partners insecure in their role as a husband.
Who wouldn't like a successful and pretty arm candy partner who's vowed to be one with him forever? After all, that's his trophy moment. Ultimately, it is a woman who has to maintain a balance between all this and be intelligent about it. And yes, I think women like us need men who are much more secure and content in themselves than the average men because it takes someone with much candour and fairness to give a powerful woman the support and care to build an everlasting relationship.
Ladies, focus on yourself and your work while simultaneously trying to understand what building a 'real' relationship requires, and not on the ultimate goal of marriage.
If you are so keen to make someone obey you, get a puppy!
PEARLE MAANEY
Whether a woman should act or not after marriage should be decided by herself, not by the husband or the family. But I see a lot of broad-minded men changing after marriage, asking their wives to sit at home. And that is the ultimate nightmare for many an actress. Also, there could be family members who are more powerful than the husband.
A life partner should help us achieve our dreams, not destroy them! A wife who knows that she has her husband's trust will definitely be more loving and committed to a marriage than one who is forced to sit at home against her wishes! Let people be, we don't own anyone, we can just marry them. If you are so keen to make someone obey you, get a puppy!
The scenario happens with any woman who wants to work, not just actresses. It's only because people think women work for their own entertainment, while men work for a livelihood. But women too work for self-actualisation. Only then will she become a complete human being. The other is like caging a bird and asking it to sing. That's sadistic.
Women too expect their men to support them in personal and professional lives
Deepti Sati
Our society dictates that women should not prioritise their careers post wedding, and it's quite sad. One should not force a woman to put her marriage over her career.
In our marriages, too many people are involved and they think that demanding a woman to give up her career after marriage is a 'harmless' expectation. Men should understand that just like they want to have life partners who love, understand and support them in personal and professional lives, women too expect the same, and have worked as much as them to build a career. Asking them to give it up or start over from scratch isn't fair.
A girl's hard work needs as much support as that of a guy
NIKKI GALRANI
Expecting women to give up their careers is completely an old-school thought! Across the globe, we can see that such a regressive mindset is slowly fading away and India too, it should be the way forward.
There are several successful examples of artistes who have managed to have flourishing careers while being wives and mothers, which proves that it's not such a bad world out there! The hardwork put in by a woman to progress in her career and earn a name for herself deserves as much support as that of a guy, and it's high time families and life partners understand this. Also, one should arrive at a clear consensus, analysing the priorities of the individual involved, before embarking on the long journey called marriage.
It's time to change the notion that women should quit acting after marriage
SSHIVADA
Working after marriage depends on individuals. If a woman can balance both career and family, things would be easy. If she has a supporting husband and family, things will be easier. I personally feel that it's time to change the notion that women should quit acting after marriage. Look at Hollywood and Bollywood, there are many actresses who continue to have a fantastic acting career even in their 40s. If a woman is capable of managing her family and career, she should be supported.
Don't kill someone's dreams for the sake of society
PRIYA MANI
In the present era, working women are successful multi-taskers; they excel in their careers and also manage their family well. But for many actresses, their career technically comes to an end post marriage. Their fan base falls and the number of film offers comes down. But things are changing. In Bollywood, actresses such as Kareena Kapoor Khan and Vidya Balan are still working. In the South too, Jyothika and Manju Warrier came back to the silver screen. In my opinion, this 'quit acting after marriage' is just a stereotype in the minds of people.
Be it any profession, as long as a woman can manage her family and career well, why not? I don't think there is a point in killing someone's dream just to please society.
Hello marriage! Goodbye movies!
These Malayali actresses were at the prime of their careers when
marriage came calling, forcing them to shift their priorities:
Samyuktha Varma
The girl with the bewitching smile proved her mettle in films such as Veendum Chila Veetukaryangal and Madhuranombarakattu. She even rejected acting offers with Rajinikanth and Kamal Haasan to get
married to actor Biju Menon in 2002.
Annie
Her jaw-dropping performances in Ammayane Sathyam and Mazhayethum Munpe were testimonials to her acting prowess. Annie, however, gave up acting after tying the knot with director Shaji Kailas in 1999.
Parvathy
Her expressive eyes, innocent smile and acting skills made her an A-list actress in the 90s. Parvathy, however, surprised her fans when she decided to get married to Jayaram, putting an end to her stellar career in 1992.
Shalini
Malayalis' Mamaattikuttiyamma had a blockbuster return to Malayalam through Aniyathipravu in 1997 and went on to grab projects across South Indian industries, before pulling away from the limelight after marrying Tamil actor Ajith in 2000.
Nazriya Nazim
The 18-year-old was at the peak of her career in South India doing films with top actors, before bidding bye to the tinsel town marrying Malayalam actor Fahadh Faasil.
Manju Warrier
Manju Warrier was considered the 'next-big-thing' in the industry for her unmatched acting prowess and dancing skills, and her exit after tying the knot with Dileep in 1998 took her fans by surprise.
Samvrutha Sunil
After her debut in Rasikan , she soon became a popular face. After essaying diverse roles in top directors' films, she called it quits to get married to US-based techie Akhil Jayaraj in 2012.