The rise of Alpha Dads

The rise of Alpha Dads
It’s the age of the rad dads – fathers who are involved in their child’s life, and take an active interest to nurture and raise them.
Welcome the alpha dads – the new generation of men, who wear the badge of fatherhood with pride, and flaunt their dad status. They are not afraid to cradle the child at night, sleep at 4 am and then get to work at 9 am.They are involved in their children’s PTAs, drop their kids off to school or hobby classes, and are not afraid to come back home and attend to them after a long day’s work. The Dad picture is changing.
Fatherhood, a badge of pride
Social media is full of celebrity dads basking in the glory of fatherhood. Footballer David Beckham recently posted a picture on Instagram, saying he is teaching his daughter biking. Indian actor Retiesh Deshmukh tweeted a picture of his son on the tennis court. Who would have imagined ‘Die-Hard’ macho man Bruce Willis would post a picture of walking his daughter, Mabel, 4, on the beach? Fatherhood is a badge of pride now. Singer and heartthrob Michael Bublé didn’t think twice before showing his soft, nurturing side as he introduced his son, Noah, to the world on Instagram – a far cry from the time where musical or screen idols were encouraged to keep up appearances to attract fans, boost sales and build the ‘bad boy’ image, even if they were married or had kids.
Times have changed, and so have people. Modern fathers don’t spend time with their children because they Have to; they do it because they Want to. Says Ricky Shetty, author of Wisdom from Daddies, “Men are working hard to build on their fatherly instinct. Gone are the days when you hear someone say: My father was never there for me when I grew up. Today’s daddies are more hands-on; they are changing diapers, feeding babies, taking them on stroller walks. This dialogue on new fatherhood has been very encouraging, as it’s making men become better role models for their kids.”
The generations before us haven’t seen this public display and pride in fatherhood. Today’s alpha dads ‘own’ fatherhood. They don’t think it’s unmanly to change nappies or that it’s a woman’s domain.
Shifting roles
“When I drop my kid to college, I see a lot of fathers doing the same,” says actor Rahul Dev. “A lot has changed in the way that our fathers viewed fatherhood compared to how we do. It was my mother who would drop us and look into the micro aspects of our life. Dad would take the macro decisions. But young fathers today are involved in big and small decisions of their child’s life.”
Dad blogger Naveen Bachwani, Founder & CEO of ThinkShop.in says we are witnessing a sea-change in societal attitude because the phrase ‘work-life balance’ has acquired new meaning. “The moms go out to have a girls’ night out. The dads babysit. The modern-day man can easily find his way around the kitchen and wardrobe. He knows his way around the house, and isn’t a lost puppy or the second child of his wife.”
A recent Pew Report suggests that dads are spending more time than ever with their kids, but still feel it’s not enough.
There is an active interest on the part of the father to connect with his child on a daily basis. Gayle Kaufman, professor of sociology, says in her book, Superdads, that though the workplace still sees men as ‘men’ not fathers, there is a visible attitude change taking place. “The new superdad struggles the most because they want to be involved with their children’s lives, but have difficulties finding the right balance between work and family. Superdads try to be full partners. They view their wives’ careers as important as their own. Not only do they manage their work around their children, they also manage work around their spouse’s job.”
A gradual movement
Jeremy Adam Smith, author of The Daddy Shift explains the title of his book in an interview as “the gradual movement of fatherhood from being defined as pure breadwinning to encompassing capacities for both breadwinning and caregiving”. He says, “There’s not one way to be a good dad any more.” It’s the will of fathers to be involved that’s the crux for this change we are seeing right now. We now have a generation of fathers quite used to the fact that women are also equal financial partners. Over the years, that has changed socio-cultural perceptions about the man’s and woman’s traditional roles of breadwinner and homemaker, respectively. Actor Emraan Hashmi writes in his book, The Kiss of Life: “You have to be a superhero father these days – take challenges head on and emerge stronger. My child has given birth to me. Today’s dads go into battle-mode for their children. It takes superhero powers to walk this path and come out unscathed.”
Sunitha Ram, producer of the recent Superdad campaign for a telecom giant, says, “We tried to capture the changing reality, where the dad is becoming more hands- on. The campaign shows a father saving the day with his new-found dhoti-tying skills thanks to Youtube on his phone. He is shown trying and succeeding in tying his son’s dhoti for a costume day at school. Ram adds, “Here’s a superdad trying to be more proactive in the child’s life and learning things from a new perspective. We captured the cluelessness on the dad’s face when the dhoti falls off. But there’s also a willingness in him to be more open with his child – like dads are these days.”
Neil Sinclair, author of Commando Dad, says, “I think Alpha Dads are as serious about being a dad as they are about their career, and it’s great for their children. However, we just have to be careful that the pendulum doesn’t swing too far in the opposite direction and the debate becomes about how much better dads are than moms at looking after their children.”
Oops, we aren’t getting into that one. Peace out. Happy Father’s Day!
Box
According to a new poll by Netmums, of 1,075 parents, modern mums want their children to have a father who plays with them, helps with their hobbies, rather than someone who is successful at work and earns a lot of money.
The survey also showed that a third of fathers feel they need to be more sensitive as against just 21 per cent of men who were happy with the old male-female equation.
Macho men are now a turn-off for mothers, with just 13 per cent seeing traditional ‘manliness’ as desirable.
The survey also shows that attitudes in modern families have shifted so far that the man’s traditional role of the breadwinner is now only ranked eighth as a father’s most important role.