Always better to soar high than feel sorry...

Shut your eyes, open your mind and imagine this: a teenager, passionate about flying in space, spends much of her time imagining herself flying planes, spacecrafts and walking in astro suits.

At her school one day, there is a buzz of hope as representatives from the finest space agency in the world are visiting to scout for talents for their space training programme. This girl isn’t around. She’s home, not because she’s sick or has a family emergency big enough to justify her absence. She’s home because her family expects her to be so, as it’s the second day of her period.

Had this been my story, I would not have been writing this! As dramatic as it sounds, it ‘is’ mine, with the little exception that I was at school — oh how could I not be there! — and I made it to NASA’s programme along with 2 boys. And from there began my journey! It was truly a memorable day when I joined the Bombay Flying Club as I could see my dream with a closure. Titles and recognition aside, I am just glad I get to do something I love.

In my childhood spent in Kashmir, I dreamt of all things airborne, and it was my parents, who nurtured my passion towards the goal. Mine wasn’t an ordinary dream, and I didn’t have an ordinary school life either. At around the age 12-13 when puberty struck, my classmates went from panic to depression and frustration, while I was mentally prepared.

In fact, as my mom had already shared with me facts, dos and don’ts, I found the other girls’ behaviours ‘funny’(I now call them regressive) — such as not venturing out
during period days, not touching the pickle, nor wearing white or light clothes. Such ideas to me are virtual handcuffs to a child and they should be banned!

Changing thoughts

It is now, when I’m 20 and well on my way to chase more dreams that I realise that I was one of the lucky Indian girls who didn't face discrimination or ignorance in my past decade. I owe my clarity of thought, my confidence to speak in public and my ability to overcome obstacles to my mom, who just kept prodding me with the simple mantra — ‘Why can’t you do that?’

It is a misconception that urban mothers and their daughters are more savvy on tackling menstruation issues and have a ‘modern’ approach. Having spent considerable time in Mumbai as well as my hometown in Kashmir, I have known many girls and their mothers who have stuck to these regressive ideas.

I used to urge my friends to remove the dread from those 5 days of the month and making them as routine, awesome, boring or action-packed as any other day. After all, how can a natural bodily process be a point of awkwardness and silence?

I remember when I got my first period, it felt different than what I’d imagined but my mom, in a seamless, non-preachy way, began hand-holding me and guiding me on tough days. I can’t thank her enough for being there and encouraging me to be truly unstoppable.

With the eagerness to achieve my commercial pilot’s license, I am set to soar and own the skies. And to all who are ‘handcuffed’ by ignorant period practices, you don’t measure life by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. In addition to this, I would also like to quote what my hero Sunita Williams often says, “Don’t get bogged down by the notion of limits. There aren’t any!”

(The author is India’s youngest female pilot and influencer of Whisper India)