"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it rather than how it should be" Wayne Dyer
My greatest desire was always to feel peace. There was a time when I truthfully didn't know what that felt like. It seems like a distant destination that I desired to reach but had no idea how. My mind told me that the more things felt under control the more peace I would feel. If I could only fix everything -- my weight, my income, my family, the pain I felt etc.; then things would be ok. Of course, even when things seemed under control, I still didn't feel peace. I felt tired, ashamed and worried.
Deep down I had a vision for myself and for life. I don't ever remember consciously creating this vision, it was just there. It included stories about how things should be - the perfect relationship, career, family and body. If things are good than it will look like this and feel like this and that was that!
Whenever something didn't go as I assumed it would (which was very often) I would be upset and negative. I couldn't see that there was a rainbow of possibilities out there and that I didn't get to choose how my desires would come to be nor would I get to choose the way in which I would learn lessons. In other words I wasn't in control.
I constantly resisted the way things were and fought against them. I used it as evidence to prove how horrible life really was and how hard it was for things to workout. It became ammunition to support feeling like a victim.
I was so attached to how my life should be that it destroyed my ability to see and appreciate life as it is.
It was only when I began to accept my life the way it was and trust that there was light at the end of the tunnel that I felt peace. And this didn't happen naturally. I had to start a new practice and use a different lens when looking at my life. I chose to do this mindfully because I was tired of being negative and stressed.
Here are a few ways you can begin a new practice of "accepting what is" in order to find peace:
1.Know Your Story
We all have stories we tell ourselves about life and how it should be. What's yours and does it serve you in feeling peace?
2.Create A New Story
If your old story included a lot of "shoulds" - what does your new story include? Perhaps more acceptance, trust and flow.
3.Collect Evidence
Even when nothing goes as we think it should, we can look back and gather a few pieces of evidence that proves it actually happened in the best way possible. What good has come from these past experiences?
4.Shift Your Focus
Pay attention to the things you concentrate on. If you find like most people that you tend to get stuck on how things aren't working out the right way - shift your focus to what is working.
5.Create A Mantra
Create a mantra for your new practice. A sentence you repeat to yourself daily. For example, "I am open and accepting of life's experiences" or "I trust that everything is happening for the best."
When we release resistance towards the way things are we create space for many more opportunities. Letting go of our "shoulds" is one of the most powerful ways you can change your life and feel peace.
I'd love to hear from you - please share what touched you in this post and how you want to practice acceptance in your life. Want to learn more about how to implement this?
Love and Light,
Orly