Arjun Kapoor gives a stay-off vibe till you get to know him. All doubts melt as he opens up and shares his innermost insecurities with you. His eyes take on a sombre turn when he talks about his mother, they take on another hue when the talk veers to his heroines and they sparkle with softness when he talks about his sister Anshula and cousin Sonam Kapoor. He has weathered many an emotional storm in the past but this gentle giant hasn’t let all that get to him. In fact, that’s made him a grounded actor, a sorted human being. He’s choosing his roles wisely as he’s learning the ropes, testing his boundaries and emerging a better actor with each outing. Excerpts from a straight from the heart tete-a-tete…
You had to get out of your comfort zone to play your character in Ki & Ka…
Not really. Because I realised there is a homemaker in every man. We just shy away from it. I’ve never done any cleaning at home. But in a scene I had to sweep the floor and was able to do it fairly well.
How did director R Balki help you define your role Ka?
I have a big frame so I can look daunting to the audience. He said he wanted the gentleness of the giant. He wanted the body language to be relaxed and childlike. The eyes had to have a soft look. I had to learn how to cook. He said get into the kitchen and feel comfortable around it. He wanted me to get a hang of the utensils, grasp how to cut, chop and clean. He was clear that the kitchen was going to be my office, my domain and I had to own it.
It seems he called you Johnsons’s baby…
Oh! I didn’t know this. I can be myself around him. If I didn’t like something I’d go and tell him that. He thought I was like a child...grumpy!
Did your experience of living alone come in handy in this role of a homemaker?
I live with my sister Anshula. She has run the house perfectly since the past four years. Main sirf cheque sign karke ussey de deta hoon. My nani (producer Sattee Shourie) and masi also look into things. I’ve no experience of running a house.
So, what would ideally be a man’s role in modern relationships?
You have to be supportive. You have to be understanding, be communicative. You have to be the support system to your wife. Both partners have to respect each other; trust each other. You build that over a course of time.
You’ve known Kareena Kapoor Khan since childhood. Did that make it easy to act opposite her?
Yes, she’s still the same person. She appears like someone who doesn’t know what’s going on. But she’s the sharpest person on the set. She’s a one-take actor. She has achieved much yet she doesn’t carry that baggage. She has no ego. I don’t know how she tolerated me. How much fun I made of her! I used to imitate her ‘Poo’ act even before I became an actor. She’s always excited about lunch and gossip. She’s not active on social media but she’s aware of everything.
What has your time in the industry taught you?
Your first 10 films decide where you stand. After that the audience accepts you or rejects you. I’m not insecure because main actor theek thaak hun.
I believe I will continue to remain in the industry. As an actor, I have never ever shied away of taking chances. I’d like to believe I am able to do all kinds of roles.
What’s the one thing you have sacrificed for this profession?
I have sacrificed my personal life. But my family and friends understand. They have accepted the fact that I’m taking them for granted. Emotionally, this profession takes a toll on you. Mentally, it can destroy you, because you work hard on a film for year and it releases one day and then it’s gone.
Has there been a character in which you poured your angst?
No, there hasn’t been any character that needed my angst to drive it. I was going through the worst phase of my life when I did Ishaqzaade. My mother (the late Mona Kapoor) had been detected with cancer. But that had no relevance to the film I was doing. Everything can’t be about you. You have to have a certain detachment and follow the director’s vision. I know lot of people who say, “Aaj mera din bahut kharab nikla, aaj serious wala scene karte hain!”
I don’t believe that helps. It’s rubbish.
Whom do you call when you’re feeling low?
No one. My friends always complain I don’t tell them anything. I don’t share my feelings with anyone. I don’t like burdening people with my problems. And my friends hate me for this. It’s not that I am an introvert. It’s just that I am private.
But doesn’t this tendency take a toll on you?
Haan log kahte hain ki tumhara dimaag kharab hai. Ek din tum pagal ho jaoge aise. I have learned to face my problems alone from a young age. I didn’t seek anyone’s support even before I became an actor. I believe one shouldn’t burden someone else with your problems. But over the years, I’ve realised sharing lessens the burden. I have improved say by five per cent. I now share some things with my sister and dad (producer Boney Kapoor).
Your aloof demeanour can be misunderstood...
Yes it is on a daily basis. More so because of my eyes. People believe I’m arrogant, I’m disinterested and that I’m cut off from the world. Even the media assumes I am arrogant and rude. But I am not. I’ve never disrespected the media. Thankfully, things are now changing.
Are there times when you want to disappear from the limelight and lead a normal life?
Paagal kutte ne kata hai mujhe? I’m surprised when stars say they wish to lead a normal life. That they want to eat raaste ki bhelpuri. Arrey you can have it. You chose this profession, so why complain? You have to be prepared for people clicking you or asking for autographs or selfies. You have to be aware of the fact that people will click your photos even if you stand in your balcony. But yes, sometimes you do wish for that one minute of privacy to get yourself together. Because your mood can change from time to time and you wish you could explain it to your fans that you need a 10-minute break. You have had a long day when 20 people come and want to click selfies with you. And you can’t say no. I do wish there was a way where you could say no without hurting their sentiments.
Why didn’t you watch Neerja?
A few years ago I lost my mother. After that I’ve developed this fear of losing my loved ones. I don’t like seeing a loved one dying
even on screen. Although, ironically, I have died in three films. I just have this anxiety of watching my sister Sonam die in Neerja. I’d love to see it but I’d skip the climax. I’d rather watch it at home than disturb people in the theatre by walking out and creating a scene.
It’s a private emotion. I have watched Sonam’s every release, even those films that she doesn’t want anybody to see. I’m happy that Neerja has done well. Sonam is a confident person off screen. Now she has become confident on camera as well. She carried the film on her shoulders.