Dear Liz,
I have worked in my job forever -- eight and a half years. I'm only 32 years old so it's like my entire career has been spent at this company. The job is pretty routine but I'm used to it and I have a lot going on in my personal life so it's nice to have a stable work environment.
I got married two years ago and have a nine-month-old daughter plus my husband's two kids from his previous marriage who are with us half the week. It's crazy but we manage to keep it together somehow. I work in the Records department of my company.
My boss is Sheila. She is very competent and well-respected in the company but she is strong-minded, too. She likes me and I like her. I have gotten into an intense political situation at work by accident. Here's the story. I hope you can help me!
Sheila works for Brian, the VP of Information Services. Brian is responsible for IT in our company and also for several other departments. Sheila and all of us in the Records department work under Brian. There is some anxiety in our company now because we have heard rumors that the company is thinking about outsourcing Records.
I have not been worried about it for my own sake because I am pretty low-level employee compared to a lot of people here. Everyone knows me after eight years and I'm pretty sure I could get into one of the other departments if they outsource our team.
Even if I couldn't get another job here I could get a new job somewhere else in town. I grew up here and my whole family is here, and my mom and dad own an insurance company so they know tons of people.
Here's the political drama I got caught up in.
A few weeks ago I was going to the basement of our building to get some old files. I was walking down the stairs because I'm claustrophobic in elevators. No one ever takes the stairs in our building. The stairwell is mainly just a fire exit.
I had my sneakers on because I'm not going to walk down four flights of stairs in heels. I got about halfway down and I heard people talking. I wasn't making any noise in my sneakers so they didn't know I was there.
I figured I'd listen enough to figure out if it was a confidential conversation before abandoning my trip to the basement, so I took a few more steps down. Sure enough, I recognized the people talking. Brian, my boss's boss, was walking with another VP, Maria, about outsourcing Records.
They were having a private conversation in the stairwell, but of course their voices echoed on the cinder block walls and I could easily hear them from two flights up.
Brian said "Sheila is an incredible asset and I'd hate to let her go when we outsource Records." Maria said "We have an opening for a Manager of Procurement. Could Sheila do that job?"
They talked about Sheila a little. Brian said "I can use two or three of the Records people in IT." Nobody mentioned my name. I don't care about that.
Maybe I shouldn't have done it but I crept back up the stairs and went to see Sheila.
I said "Sheila, I've worked for you for eight years and I really like you." She said "Why are you saying that? What's going on?" I told her. She looked like she wanted to kill someone.
"I can understand changing business requirements," she said, "but I have worked for Brian for twelve years. Maria has been in this company for less than a year, and Brian is talking with her about me and my career path? I'm disgusted. He could have at least talked to me about his plans. He doesn't trust me? This really makes me mad."
I was pretty confident Sheila was not going to rat me out and I don't believe she did. She is very smart.
She just went to Brian and told him "I know there's been conversation about outsourcing Records and I'm fine with that, as long as we make a plan to transition my employees and me personally into their new situations so that no one gets hurt."
Sheila told me that Brian was shocked but that as soon as she broke the ice, he also came clean. He told her it was a real thing and it was going to happen. He talked to her about the Procurement job. She said she didn't want to be a Procurement person. She asked for a severance package and she got it, but it wasn't easy. She is still here, working through the outsourcing project. It's been very ugly here since the stairwell thing happened.
There were loud arguments and slamming doors for several weeks. It was very intense. I kept wondering when someone was going to bust me for overhearing Brian and Maria and telling Sheila about it, but it never happened. I believe Sheila when she says she never mentioned my name to Brian.
At the same time, there are only a few of us who ever go to the basement. Brian could have figured it out himself or he may have a hunch that I overheard him and told Sheila about it.
I got an email message from Brian's assistant, Tracee, last night. Tracee wrote "Brian wants to see you at 4 p.m. tomorrow, in his office."
That's today. In eight years he's never asked to see me before. I have to assume that he plans to ask me if I am the stairwell eavesdropper who told Sheila about his outsourcing plans.
Should I admit that I overheard what I did and told Sheila about it, or not?
I'm pretty neutral on whether or not I stay in the company but I don't want to leave with a bad reference. I would ask Sheila what to do but she is at a vendor site and not available.
What do you recommend? Should I tell Brian what I overheard, or keep quiet?
Thanks,
Jill
Dear Jill,
First off, I'd write back to Tracee and say "How should I prepare for the 4 p.m. meeting with Brian? What is the topic of the meeting?" That is always an appropriate question to ask. If Tracee's reply is cagey, you'll know that your instinct was correct.
You have nothing to apologize for. You can tell Brian what you heard or not. This situation may feel scary, but you have nothing to be afraid of. If Brian fires you you will be eligible for unemployment ompensation because you have not done anything to deserve getting fired.
Maybe after all this tumult is is time to go, anyway. Once you meet with Brian you'll know for sure whether this company deserves another minute of your time, or not!
Sheila got angry and used her emotions to help her get a severance package. If Brian gets in your grill you can do the same thing. Here's how each conversation could go.
Telling Brian What You Heard In The Stairwell
(After pleasantries.)
Brian: So Jill, I understand you stumbled onto some impromptu headcount planning by overhearing a private conversation, and and inadvertently started a firestorm. Is that accurate?
You: What do you mean?
Brian: Did you hear Maria and I talking in the stairwell, and tell Sheila what you heard?
You: Yes.
Brian: Wow. You really created a problem.
You: We could agree to disagree about who or what started a problem. Sheila negotiated an exit package from her job. Shall you and I have that conversation also?
Brian: First, why you didn't you tell me what you overheard?
You: I have never had access to you, Brian. You and I have never had a close relationship. What would you like to do now? How shall we resolve this situation?
Not Telling Brian What You Heard In The Stairwell
Brian: So, I understand you overheard some headcount planning in the conversation and told Sheila about it, creating a big problem in the process.
You: What do you mean?
Brian: Come on, Jill. I already know that you told Sheila about my conversation with Maria, which you evidently overheard.
You: What can I do for you, Brian? You seem upset.
Brian: You can tell me the truth about overhearing me and Maria talking.
You: I have had many private and confidential conversations with Sheila as well as many other co-workers here over the past eight years. I value those relationships and I don't share them with anyone. I know you must respect your confidential conversations as much as I respect mine. That's what our relationships are built on here - they're built on trust. Right now I am feeling under the gun in this conversation, which is not a trusting feeling. I know I haven't done anything wrong, so that is confusing to me.
Brian: I am your boss, Jill. Did you tell Sheila what you overheard in the stairwell -- the conversation between Maria and me?
You: I don't really know what you are referring to Brian but I know that things have been tumultuous and upsetting here lately. I wish I could help you but I don't know how I might. Is there anything else you want to talk about?
You are the CEO of your life and career, Jill.
People get fearful and they get angry. Let Brian threaten you -- his threats are hollow!
He has no power over you. The worst he can do is fire you, and why would you want to work for him anyway if he insults or browbeats you?
You are in the driver's seat. You didn't do anything wrong. You were loyal to Sheila, because she was loyal to you. Brian needs to get a clue - human beings are animals. We move in packs and we are loyal to our pack members.
Brian's flimsy corporate hierarchy has zip-all to do with personal loyalty, but I don't hold out hope that he will learn anything from your conversation today.
He may be too fearful to step into a learning mode right now, but that's fine -- he's on his own path, and you are on yours!
Best,
Liz
