Hot Football Transfer Gossip: Neymar, Lacazette, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Hummels

Imagine if every morning you saw a nice cat near your house and you always tried to stroke it, but every time it ran away. Then after months and years of being rejected by this cat, one day it finally walked up to you, stood there and smiled - waiting to be stroked. But by an unfortunate coincidence the previous day you had broken both your arms in a gardening accident and they were in casts, so you could only stare sadly at the cat without touching it and trudge back to your house. And then someone else came along and stroked it and you were jealous.

Well, that’s exactly how Manchester United will feel if Neymar becomes available this summer and they don’t qualify for the Champions League.

And according to the Sun, this nightmare scenario could come to pass. The Brazilian’s long-running contract negotiations with Barcelona may not be resolved because - as amazing as it sounds - the Catalan giants can’t afford to keep him. Something to do with a combination of crippling club debts, not having a shirt sponsor for next season and still having to pay Alex Song’s wages.

United, meanwhile, have made it clear they are willing to pay Neymar’s £144m release clause along with £300,000 a week in wages. But if they don’t make the top four, it will all be immaterial because Neymar wouldn’t be interested and would probably just go and sign for Paris Saint-Germain or Leicester instead.

A more realistic attacking target to aid United’s Europa League campaign next season is Lyon’s Alexandre Lacazette, who the Metro says the Red Devils are “keeping tabs on”. The 24-year-old has been heavily linked with Newcastle, West Ham and Tottenham in the past, but United have reportedly “entered the race” to sign him.

Arsenal are so keen to get rid of Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain that they have “offered” him to West Ham, claims the Mirror. It doesn’t reveal whether the Hammers were interested in the offer, or how much the Gunners want for him, but it is suggested that Arsene Wenger’s willingness to offload the midfielder will spark a “scramble for his services”, whatever they are exactly.

Elsewhere, Borussia Dortmund defender Mats Hummels could be tempted to join Manchester City in the summer (Guardian), Man Utd have sent scouts to watch Anderlecht duo Youri Tielemans and Leander Dendoncker (Star) and Chelsea fear they will lose highly rated teenage striker Dominic Solanke, who is refusing to sign a new contract at Stamford Bridge (Mail). Sounds like someone doesn’t fancy going out on loan for the next five years.

@darlingkevin