Verified by 
Music enriches our social lives and relationships in both public and private venues. It enhances joy, pride, solemnity, and memorability are all enhanced in formal and informal celebrations. The playing of "Pomp and Circumstance" ensures that friends and families appreciate the importance of the graduates’ accomplishments. Upbeat music contributes to the fun people enjoy at parties. On a more private level, lovers remember their “special song” and have warm fuzzy feelings when they hear the music they enjoyed together while falling in love.
While the value of sharing music is universally evident, less obvious is the music individuals are reluctant to admit that they enjoy in private. Their secret loved playlists hide guilty little musical pleasures. At first thought, we can easily understand why people are unwilling to reveal that they like certain songs. Many pop songs are considered too simple, repetitive, or even annoying to be respected by sophisticated listeners. But it’s hard to ignore a pulsing beat or happy repetitive lyrics that bring uninhibited joy. As Michael Stipe explained about R.E.M.’s international hit "Shiny Happy People," “It’s just a little bit embarrassing that it became as big a hit as it did!” But the song was exactly what he had intended it to be: “a really fruity, kind of bubblegum song.” Similarly simple songs like "Don’t Stop Believin’" by Journey and "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen rank among the top guilty pleasure pop songs according to an analysis of more than 120,000 playlists on Spotify.
Not wanting to admit that one’s musical taste includes simple bubblegum songs can reflect a fear of others considering you musically naive. The same dynamic might explain the need to keep private any enjoyment of childish songs like "Puff the Magic Dragon" by Peter, Paul and Mary or "The Unicorn Song" by the Irish Rovers. The popularity of such songs suggests that their appeal stems from symbolic meaning appreciated by adults who have experienced the loss of childhood innocence or have felt the painful sting of regret. But the explicit subjects of the songs are childish, fanciful characters—a magic dragon, playful unicorns—not adult content. Admitting you like them carries the risk of others viewing you as childish, immature, or at least unsophisticated.
Some can perceive even songs with more mature content as better kept private. It would be “uncool” or “dorky” to like music that is out of date, schmaltzy, or corny. A progressive culture frowns upon hearkening back to what was popular in the past. A culture that favors strength and powerful values like courage, resilience, and invincibility discourages any admission of sentimentality or vulnerability. It is not surprising, then, that secret playlists include songs like "Love Story," originally a hit performed by Andy Williams, and "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro. Both songs are considered mawkish, sappy expressions of idealistic romantic love, but both were popular hits in their time.
While some entries on the secret playlists reflect the understandable motivation to avoid being viewed as immature or uncool, others might reveal more important concerns. Fear of revealing unfulfilled needs, desires or conflicts might impose a burden of secrecy as well as an obstacle to resolving them. Some songs might reveal enduring painful emotions from past wounds. In her powerfully honest song, "Piece By Piece," Kelly Clarkson expresses the devastating hurt of her father leaving her when she was young and the healing power of love she discovered with her husband. Songs of abandonment, unrequited love, betrayal, or unbearable grief can reveal depths of our emotional selves we prefer to keep private. We might fear that showing our deepest pain, our emotional Achilles' heel, can make us vulnerable to further attack. Sharing such a song might mirror a hidden facet of our self and remind us of issues we’d rather forget.
As our life experiences transform us, we acquire new friends and coworkers along with a new lifestyle. We might come to feel that we’ve outgrown our past self and are comfortable leaving it behind. But our past self remains as the self upon which we build our present identity. For some, secretly enjoying songs that reflect that private self can be a source of introspective pleasure. Having a private identity can be like a hidden psychological treasure. For others, it might be a source of potential embarrassment or shame and keeping it suppressed can be a source of anxiety or sadness. Research has suggested that in some cases keeping an important secret can impose a cognitive or emotional burden, and revealing it can bring the relief of cathartic release. Sharing meaningful pieces from our secret playlist might be the first step in healing.
If your secret playlist brings you the special pleasure of enjoyment in your own private space, the satisfaction of having rich layers of identity, or the empowering knowledge of having overcome challenges, indulge. But if your guilty song list reflects a burden of unresolved emotional hurt or unfulfilled desires, you might consider exploring the reasons underlying your playlist and begin the search for healing and moving on.
Further reading
Batcho, K. I., DaRin, M. L., Nave, A. M., & Yaworsky, R. R. (2008). Nostalgia and identity in song lyrics. Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts, 2, 236-244.
Goncalo, J. A., Vincent, L. C., & Krause, V. (2015). The liberating consequences of creative work: How a creative outlet lifts the physical burden of secrecy. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 59, 32-39.
Mackelden, A. (2016, March 3). Kelly Clarkson’s “Piece By Piece” lyrics tell a heartbreaking story. Bustle. http://www.bustle.com/articles/145780-kelly-clarksons-piece-by-piece-lyrics-tell-a-heartbreaking-story
Putnam, L. (2014, July 30). Spotify reveals top ‘guilty pleasure’ songs. New York Post. http://nypost.com/2014/07/30/spotify-reveals-top-guilty-pleasure-songs/
Rogers, J. (2011, November 12). Michael Stipe’s last stand – An R.E.M. exit interview. The Quietus. http://thequietus.com/articles/07351-michael-stipe-s-last-stand-an-r-e-m-exit-interview
Slepian, M. L., Camp, N. P., & Masicampo, E. J. (2015). Exploring the secrecy burden: Secrets, preoccupation, and perceptual judgments. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 144, e31-e42.
Slepian, M. L., Masicampo, E. J., & Ambady, N. (2014). Relieving the burdens of secrecy: Revealing secrets influences judgments of hill slant and distance. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5, 293-300.
Slepian, M. L., Masicampo, E. J., Toosi, N. R., & Ambady, N. (2012). The physical burdens of secrecy. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141, 619-624.
