Behold NaMostradamus, the soothsayer
As a practicing Hindu (practicing makes perfect) I have always had strong feelings for the science of astrology.
This includes all the various types of accurate Indian forecast like kundali making and matching, street parrot, psephology and mummy shouting: 'you will never amount to anything'.
But that was the old days, then some years ago new things came: vastu, tarot and feng shui, and numerology in names (I used to be Car Patel before one expert convinced me to become Aakar).
Our minister has been reading him closely and I also looked for his stuff on Google. I found it uncannily accurate and amazing. You didn’t see it? No matter, this column is usually for my opinion but today it is better served by my reproducing the works of the Great NaMostradamus:
"In the year of the cow will come a saviour from the west, from a dry, dry part of the world where even a sip or two is difficult to find.
He will be middle-aged and people will at first dislike him but later love him because of his good deeds.
On news of his arrival, two wise men, Advaniji and Murli Manoharji, will come to see the saviour and ask him for jobs and he gives them mirth and incense.
His name will be an anagram of I'm Order Danda.
At first nobody will know what that quite means and it will all be in bad English.
Like a Hebraic prophet he will instruct his people on dietary restriction.
The first commandment of Modimandias (as he will also be called) will be 'Make in India' but nobody will understand it. Make what? Where? How? Why? For whom? It is all a mystery and the stock market will feel the same way.
The second great pronouncement will be 'I will fix our enemies'. This NaMostradamus will do forthwith through stern hugs and visits to Lahore. Showing even more daring he will put to sword all the anti-nationals in JNU and banish them forever to Tihar (from where they return after two weeks for lack of evidence).
In the end he will solve all the major problems of the land and only the minor ones – poverty, illiteracy, hunger and development – remain to be sorted.
That NaMostradamus promises he will do – when he returns after another 500 years.
This includes all the various types of accurate Indian forecast like kundali making and matching, street parrot, psephology and mummy shouting: 'you will never amount to anything'.
But that was the old days, then some years ago new things came: vastu, tarot and feng shui, and numerology in names (I used to be Car Patel before one expert convinced me to become Aakar).
Now there is one other thing being spoken of, and that is 500 year old predictions by the great seer NaMostradamus, mostly about himself.
Our minister has been reading him closely and I also looked for his stuff on Google. I found it uncannily accurate and amazing. You didn’t see it? No matter, this column is usually for my opinion but today it is better served by my reproducing the works of the Great NaMostradamus:
"In the year of the cow will come a saviour from the west, from a dry, dry part of the world where even a sip or two is difficult to find.
He will be middle-aged and people will at first dislike him but later love him because of his good deeds.
On news of his arrival, two wise men, Advaniji and Murli Manoharji, will come to see the saviour and ask him for jobs and he gives them mirth and incense.
His name will be an anagram of I'm Order Danda.
At first nobody will know what that quite means and it will all be in bad English.
Like a Hebraic prophet he will instruct his people on dietary restriction.
The first commandment of Modimandias (as he will also be called) will be 'Make in India' but nobody will understand it. Make what? Where? How? Why? For whom? It is all a mystery and the stock market will feel the same way.
The second great pronouncement will be 'I will fix our enemies'. This NaMostradamus will do forthwith through stern hugs and visits to Lahore. Showing even more daring he will put to sword all the anti-nationals in JNU and banish them forever to Tihar (from where they return after two weeks for lack of evidence).
In the end he will solve all the major problems of the land and only the minor ones – poverty, illiteracy, hunger and development – remain to be sorted.
That NaMostradamus promises he will do – when he returns after another 500 years.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are the author's own. The opinions and facts expressed here do not reflect the views of Mirror and Mirror does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.
