Women In Agriculture: Three Tips for Dating a Farmer

My Farmer and I are coming up on our fifth wedding anniversary. When we started dating, I got a lot of advice from other farm girlfriends/wives. In celebration of Valentine's Day tomorrow, I thought I would share three things I think are essential for dating a farmer.

1. Date for at least one year.
Farming is all about the seasons: planting, growing, harvest, and the season of fixing things, otherwise known as winter. If you've dated for a month, you have an idea what happens in that month, but there are 11 more to go.

My Farmer works from sunup to way past sundown for six, and sometimes seven, days a week during planting and harvest season. We started dating in winter, so My Farmer had time time to spend with me. I'm not from a farm, so if I hadn't spent my career working with farmers, planting season would have come as a shock.

You need to know what to expect, but also realize that no two years on the farm are alike.

2. You will make plans around what is happening on the farm.
What time should I have dinner ready? What do you want to do this weekend? Where and when should we go on vacation? These are often last-minute decisions and sometimes have to be cancelled.

You have to be flexible. You have to be willing to do things without your partner. You may even have to miss out on things because the farm comes first.

3. Hands-on time is important.
Farming is not just a job, it's a part of who our farmers are. I don't believe you can be a supportive partner if you don't know what they do.

I've ridden in the combine, helped pick tobacco off the line, and taken a seat on the transplanter when setting out sweet potatoes. Not only is this often the only way I get to spend any time with My Farmer, but I learn more about what he does so I can carry on a conversation with him about the farm.

What is your advice for anyone dating a farmer?