Re: The Super Bowl: More Email From The Tea Party

So wifey and me wuz watchin’ the Republican Debate ‘cause we really like Mr. Donald Trummp and Mr. Ted Cruze and Mr Marko Rubyo – anyone who can beat this B—h Hillery or this Commie Ernie Sandors and after it was over an’ we switched to watch Cops we heared that there’s a real big super bowl 50 comin’ this week-end an’ so we gotta of course watch.

So yesterday we tuned in to this super bowl 50 an’ first we watched fourteen commerce-shills, a station break, then seven more commerce-shills an’ then finally there’s this lady comes out who everybody says they is gaga about an she commences to sing the national anthum which wifey an’ I we never knew that they do before bowlin’. An’ also we never knew our anthum had so many notes.

So she finishes an’ I gotta say it looked to us like she thought she wuz waaay more important than the anthum an’ then all of a sudden we thought we wuz bein’ bommed cause these planes they wuz flyin’ overhead but thank G-d they didn’t drop no bomms.

So now wifey an’ I got the Cheetos ‘n Cheese Wiz ‘n are ready to watch some very good bowlin’ an’ here I gotta say we both know whut good bowlin’ is as we both belong to the West Texas Flamers (we jes’ got us some new bowlin’ shirts that say WTF) an’ all of a sudden-like there comes all these people dressed in the funniest bowlin’ uniforms we ever did saw an’ they come a runnin’ out there an’ I’m thinkin’ whut – all these guys’re gonna bowl??? An’ then they commence to runnin’ straight into each other an’ if this is bowlin’ then I’m a chimpanzee’s liver. This ain’t like no bowlin’ we ever did saw. And unless we wuz crazy we knew that this wuz football!

But we keep watchin’ figurin’ soon they’s gonna git to commencin’ to bowl – or someone is. An’ we watch an’ we watch an’ we watch an’ ain’t no one bowlin’ nowhare. So jes as we’s about to switch channels we don’t ‘cause we heer that someone named Bruno who comes from Mars is gonna…sing??

Well, we didn’ jes fall offa the back of no turnip truck me ‘n wifey but we gotta stick around to see if someone from Mars has actualy come down to earth – to sing. We’re thinkin’ whut’s he gonna look like or sound like an’ whut is Martian music anyway? An’ are there Germans on Mars cause why else does he have a German name?

But then there comes this spectaccle like it’s Bayjing ‘n all these folks jumpin’ around like theys got fleas – I guess that’s whut they now call dancin’ – ‘n then thare is this Bruno fella – we think – an’ he’s dressed in a garbage bag an’ lookin’ like he is gaspin’ in our air. We figger that’s whut singin’ on Mars is tho’.

Anyways for sumpin’ called the ”super” bowl tweren’t nobody bowlin’ nowhare turns out – but in between these guys runnin’ smack into each other at full speed we did get to see whut seemed like a hundred commerce-shills which were kinda entertainin’.

I gotta go now – the Missus an’ me’re gonna go knock on some doors for Mr Trummp…or Mr Cruze. An’ remember to vote ‘cause we need us some inteligent folks up thare in the White House.

R.C. Hillburn
Midland, Texas

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Filed under: Cautionary tale, Humor, Presidential Politics, satire, writing Tagged: Bowling, Bruno Mars, half-time, Lady Gaga, Super Bowl Barking in the Dark is run by Tony Powers, a writer/actor/musician.