The voice of presenter Muhammad Farhan held a mix of various emotions when he was talking about a short video posted on YouTube that was dedicated as a tribute to his first son, 16-year-old Muhammad Ridzky Khalid, who passed away after battling leukemia on Dec. 20.

In the two-minute, 45-second video, two teenagers with autism, Clement and Khrisna, shared memories of their light moments with Muhammad Ridzky Khalid, the son of presenter Muhammad Farhan, and wrapped the video up with a piano performance of Wiz Khalifa'€™s See You Again.

The heartwarming video has consoled Farhan'€™s family.

'€œThose three kids were best friends. They hung out together and sometimes argued with each other, but they still kept their friendship. People who don'€™t know the story behind the video might consider it boring, but Aya and I are very touched by it,'€ Farhan told The Jakarta Post over the phone recently, referring to his wife Aryatri.

He said the two teens also suffered a great loss, which they expressed in their own way. Farhan said when they came to his house to pay their respects to Ridzky, Clement talked continuously, while Khrisna refused to see Ridzky'€™s body and preferred to sit at a far distance to pray.

Farhan has been known as a public figure who was open about Ridzky'€™s autistic condition and was keen to share his parenting experiences. He is a popular face in various talk shows and events on autism where he participates as an emcee or a guest speaker.

In September, he became a guest speaker of a free talk show event held by the Indonesian Autism Awareness (Mpati) in Lotte Mart hypermarket in Kelapa Gading, North Jakarta, where he shared his experiences raising Ridzky.

'€œMas Farhan is our supporter although he is not a member of Mpati,'€ said Farida Kadarusno, the deputy chairwoman of Mpati.

Farhan said openness about his son'€™s condition brought many benefits, including having many helping hands and helpful sources when the family faced a problem related to Ridzky'€™s development.

'€œIt will be hard to think of our problems alone. When we are open, other people will become open to us too. We will get many friends. The biggest benefit of making our kid open to the world is having the world open for our kid,'€ he said.

It does not mean that Farhan was free from receiving negative comments. He said someone told him that he was overexposing his son or made use of his son'€™s popularity.

'€œWhen they made such an accusation, I usually didn'€™t respond. We cannot force people to directly open themselves because although we have done our best to open ourselves, we can still face negative stigma from society,'€ he said.

The misconception surrounding the condition, he said, included that it was caused by the bad behavior of the parents or inherited from the parents'€™ extended family.

'€œIt is hard to fight negative stigma. At least, parents should be open to themselves, admitting that our child has a problem. If we keep denying his or her condition, I am afraid it will be too late [for treatment],'€ he said.

Life is good: Wisnu Anggoro (right) and his friends trek in Jatiluwih, Tabanan, Bali. Wisnu can hang out with other people despite his autism.

He said parents should also not blame each other because a debate on the cause of autism would not provide any solution.

Vina Pendit, another parent of a son with autism, Wisnu Anggoro, echoed Farhan'€™s view. She said there are many aspects that should be taken care of when raising children with autism, including behavior and health.

Having supportive people in the surroundings who have knowledge about the children'€™s condition would be helpful, she said.

'€œPeople do not know how to respond because they don'€™t understand. We should be honest and open-minded about it. My friends commonly ask what will happen if my son eats certain avoided food,'€ she said.

She said her first step was giving clear information to her extended family members about her son'€™s food restrictions because she often brought him to visit them.

'€œMy brothers were supportive. They told me to make a list of the avoided food and attach it to their refrigerators. I distributed the list to all of them,'€ she said, adding that teachers and parents at her son'€™s schools were the next who were informed about the list because he went to regular schools.

Vina said autism awareness among people is better now compared to the situation in the 1990s when she discovered that her son was autistic.

'€œBack then, people thought that children with autism were crazy. Parents of autistic children were scolded and cursed because their children cut the lines. I have been there,'€ she said.

She said exposure to such a bad experience could lead to parents trying to hide their children from society, while in fact people in the surroundings could be helpful '€” for example in a situation when the children run away.

Vina, who is also a psychologist, recounted the days she was sad and panicked when realizing that her one-and-a-half-year-old son showed different behavior, such as little eye contact and slow progress of speech development.

She immediately looked for professional help, but during those days information on autism was still limited and the medical doctors she visited did not have experience in treating children with it. Later, she met another mother who had a child with autism and was recommended to see child psychiatrist Melly Budhiman, the founder and chairwoman of the Indonesian Autism Foundation (YAI). Since then, she has dutifully followed programs and interventions designed for her son.

Vina said thanks to the early intervention, her son, now 21 years old, can interact with people well and has just earned a diploma.

'€œI have learned that when parents have accepted their kids'€™ condition, they will learn a lot of things in their life. I learn to be disciplined [in carrying out the children'€™s therapy programs]. As parents, we must not give up because when we do so, it will be too late to nurture our children'€™s potential,'€ she said.
_____________________________________________

Facts on autism in Indonesia

* Individuals with autism are still struggling with stigma and misconceptions.

* According to the Rumah Autis (Home for the Autistic) foundation, therapy is still costly, ranging from Rp 50,000 to Rp 250,000 per hour, making the condition financially challenging for low-income parents.

*  Indonesia still has no reliable data on autism cases.

*  Yayasan Autisma Indonesia estimates that the number of children with autism was about one per 500 in 2000, an increase from one per 5,000 in the previous 10 years.