Cam Newton wore, by our approximation, a two foot long fox, badger, raccoon, coyote, mink, (or maybe mongoose?) tail to Sunday night's postgame press conference. While we all know the truth, (a stylist told him this was the next big thing) it's very hard to admit that Cam clipped this onto his pants and thought: "Yeah! I look cool." It would almost be easier to believe that a teammate's nephew accidentally lost track of his ferret in the locker room. The ferret, confused and nervous to be out of its own environs, chose to hide in Cam Newton's jeans pocket at exactly the moment Newton was walking out to take the microphone. The athlete's only logical choice was to play it cool. Makes sense right? That's not what a ferret tail looks like?
Perhaps it's a good luck charm, a shamanic talisman, or maybe he really loves [Raccoon Mario] (http://pre15.deviantart.net/52fd/th/pre/f/2013/286/2/2/raccoon_mario_by_grimklok-d6qblp7.png) or Davy Crockett. The only other possibility is that someone tampered with this image. It could totally be a photoshopped tail. In which case whoever did it, wouldn't make a very good Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey player. But they would be very good at the internet. Seriously though, we'd never begrudge someone a flex-worthy accessory or some out-there personal style. But it doesn't have to be this out-there. Next time Newton should try something a little more chill than an entire animal carcass.
