Become a Knight for only 12,000 BDT
How many times have you said something like, “Ei desh-e kichhui hobe na!” while shaking your fist at the TV news or the newspaper? How many times have you told your friends not to come back to the country? Well, they say if you need something done you need to do it yourself. Gather your family and get a big platform that floats. Take said platform over to Hatirjheel. Throw it in the water and claim that it is now your new country. Name your country Shagorland. Make cardboard cut-out crowns and call yourselves royalty. Now, if you think that idea is absurd, I must tell you that this has already been done.
The Principality of Sealand resides, not in Hatirjheel unfortunately, but 12 kilometers off the coast of Suffolk, England. It is an unrecognised, 6000 square feet, micro-nation founded by Roy Bates in 1967 with a subsequent attempt at establishing its sovereignty as a nation in 1975, when Bates wrote a national constitution. The country, previously known as Fort Roughs, was an anti-aircraft fortress built to defend against the German Luftwaffe. After that, it was used as a helicopter landing ground for pirate radio. They just wanted to play “The Twist” by Chubby Checker all day but Roy Bates intervened. He was more of a Marvin Gaye kind of pirate radio.
How Bates managed to convince his wife and children to leave the comforts of their home, and move to a glorified bucket, is baffling. “Honey, you will only be able to shower once a week for 3 minutes, but you can call yourself Queen of Sealand,” said Bates [probably]. The next day they arrived at Sealand.
You can read more about the history of Sealand in their website. They could not get a .gov domain, but the website still holds legitimacy with the next best thing: www.Sealandgov.org
Recently unclassified documents show that the UK had plans to usurp Sealand from Bates and take over the platform some 30 years ago. But they never went through with the plan, not for fear of loss of life but mostly because of how ridiculous it would sound the next day on the news. Sealand also boasts a heroic “war of independence”. Let's just say shots were fired. That's actually not true. Only one shot was fired from one shotgun.
The country has a bustling economy, as they acquire revenue through ingenious marketing. You can become a baron, baroness, lord, or lady for the unbelievable price of 30 pounds! Nando's once tried to sell peri peri chicken for more than that! All those times you bought your boyfriend an expensive cologne he never wore, when you could have given him an actual royal title. He could have been Baron Jaan, royal representative of The Principality of Sealand, known for having the prettiest woman in miles (it's technically true). Now he will forever be just Jaan.
You can also become a knight without any training or unnecessary accomplishments, simply by paying through the website. It will only set you back a 100 pounds. A really sweet deal considering everyone has to call you “Sir” from now on. Imagine the look on your future employers when they see that on your resume: Graduated middle school. Proficient in Microsoft Paint. Honoured Knight of the Sovereign Military Order of Sealand.
Hired.
Rasim Alam needs a blurb that's funny, charming and subtly hints at his misunderstood artistic side. Send him suggestions at [email protected]
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