Step ladder to success

Zarina Stanford
VP, Market Management, IBM Asia Pacific, Singapore

IDENTIFY PRIORITIES
As a woman, it's important to recognise that there are no universal guidelines that equip you with the right responses in every situation. You have to pick and choose between your options based on your own priorities. Don't let others definitions of priorities define yours. For instance, if you want to have a child, try during your peak child-bearing years instead of postponing it. Really think through your decisions based on what you want and what is sustainable in the long-term.

SUPPORTIVE WORKPLACE
Choose a company that supports your beliefs and values for a rewarding workplace equation. Not every company is a good fit and will respect you and your preferences-be it content or innovation. Give the same thought to choosing the company you work for as you would give to settling on a partner.

CUT YOUR LOSSES
Know the price you're willing to pay to achieve your goals. It's as simple as knowing that when you buy something, you know the highest price you're going to pay. Ask yourself what you're willing to give in order to take. That sets your value standards. Sometimes there's no option but to make a trade-off between your priorities.

DAILY, NOT SPORADICALLY
The notion of work-life balance is not a one-day miracle. It's about inculcating a certain way of thinking that allows you breathing room and lets you get the most out of a packed day. Instead of focussing on a single good day in a week, elevate your overall level of living. Draw on your support system to make the most of 24 hours in a day.

BE YOUR OWN LEADER
As a guiding principle, this fundamental tenet often gets overlooked. You have to take charge of your circumstances without depending on others to make your decisions for you. When thinking of the next step, don't begin from the vantage point of 'am I allowed to do that?' Instead, ask 'what are my likes and dislikes?' With the former, you end up admitting to yourself that you're subordinate to the situation. Once you fall into that rut, it's very hard to climb out of it.

DON'T BE THE VICTIM
Women are shamed into feeling like victims in a range of socially controlled situations. Such repetitive patterns make us lose sight of our agency. Don't let that dictate your way of thinking. Women, at times, subconsciously end up using the victim's approach to get heard. Not only does that dilute your case, it makes you look less capable. It's a tremendous inhibitor when you accept the 'givens' and 'assumptions' imposed on you because you don't think of questioning them. Take charge of situations instead of imbibing a victim's mentality and thereby expecting special treatment.

LET STEREOTYPES BE
Don't let stereotypes define you. Be committed to your interests and don't be driven by other peoples' perceptions. That's the only way to unlock your latent strength. The lack of women engineers and researchers in scientific fields is a case in point. If you're in a field populated by men, think of it as a strength. And, if you're in a profession considered 'feminine', don't let the label hold you back.