While Kaitlyn Bristowe and Shawn Booth ride off into the sunset, “Bachelorette” castoffs are fleeing south of the border for a second chance at love.
ABC’s reality train wreck, “Bachelor in Paradise,” returns for Season 2, and because one night a week isn’t enough, the network is breaking this season up into two-night events, including an after-show hosted by — who else? — “Bachelor” emcee Chris Harrison.
With a self-proclaimed virgin and a “Jersey Shore” reject rounding out this year’s cast of clowns, there’s no question that the road to “Paradise” will be anything but smooth sailing. Take a look at the five craziest moments from Sunday night’s premiere.
Virgin Ashley I. marks her territory . . .
There’s no such thing as being too honest on a reality show. Just ask former “Bachelor” contestant Ashley Iaconetti. The New Jersey native proudly proclaims that she is ready for a suitor to pop her cherry, and already has someone in mind: Bristowe’s ex, Jared Haibon.
After scoring the first date card, Iaconetti drags Haibon away from the prowling eyes of cosmetics developer Jade Roper, and takes him on a dune buggy joy ride along the shores of Mexico. While the pair have yet to seal the deal — remember, it’s only Episode 1 — they do enjoy some sandy small talk over Champagne.
. . . while her sister learns the meaning of ‘smushing’
With one member of the Iaconetti family scheming for an unsuspecting restaurant manager to swipe her V-card, the other, Lauren, is busy getting acquainted with “Jersey Shore” wannabe Mikey Tenerelli. After Ashley informs the group that her sister, who did not appear on “The Bachelor,” will be tagging along for the reality ride, Tenerelli immediately wants to stake his claim.
Using his “alpha male” ways, the plumbing contractor tosses his sweat-soaked purple polo aside for a dip in the ocean with his soon-to-be conquest. Unlike his ancestors from the promised land of Seaside Heights, Tenerelli strikes out — for now.
Chris Harrison officiates a wedding
In between “Bachelor”/“Bachelorette” rose ceremonies, it seems that Harrison found time to score a certificate that allows him to officiate weddings. Before the “Paradise” pals finish their first round of cocktails, Harrison drags them away from the bar and onto the beach for Season 1’s Lacy Faddoul and Marcus Grodd’s not-so-intimate nuptials.
As the lovebirds share their handwritten vows, a bikini-clad Jillian Anderson celebrates the sunset affair alongside the bride and groom’s conservatively dressed families.
Not all love connections are between a man and a woman
Contrary to popular belief, some of the greatest romances that have blossomed on reality TV aren’t between men and women. Case in point: Ashley Salter and the birds.
The “Bachelor” blonde, who famously quipped about having as many layers as an onion, makes a beeline for a randomly placed birdcage before heading downstairs to the bar to chat up the single gents. Knowing true love when he sees it, Harrison backs off and lets the Georgia-based hairstylist do her thing.
It’s never too early for a meltdown
Hotel romps may boost ratings, but it’s the cry-fests that keep people talking. Adjusting to her new life in front of the spotlight, Lauren begins to crumble in front of the cameras. While Iaconetti supports her sister, the “Paradise” crew takes notice of the breakdown from afar.
“We’re barely here and we’ve already witnessed crying. I mean, this is day one,” former “Bachelorette” villain J.J. Lane dishes during his confessional. “Things move fast in paradise, apparently.” Thanks for noticing, Captain Obvious.