Living apart, but staying together

Hold on, the joint family hasn't signed off yet. The dynamics may have changed a bit, but there are families in the city still socketed in the joint family ideal. The family of Sunderrajan's, for instance, lives in CIT Colony, Mylapore, in a 60-year-old sprawling bungalow that has, over the years, had wings added to it, to accommodate a growing family's needs.
“There are 23 people living in our bungalow-apartment," says Joseph Pramod Benjamin, one of Sunderrajan's grandsons, who lives with his family ­ own and extended ­ in the bungalow. “The whole building belongs to the family. My grandfather had seven children (four boys and three girls) and as each son got married and had children, floors and wings were added to the bungalow," says Benjamin, adding that the ground floor house now has three floors, one for each son. “The daughters are settled elsewhere, but my father and uncles live here, and so do their children," he says.
Living apart together has its ups and downs, says Benjamin, but they're up for the most part. “When the festival season is here, there's no boredom, no loneliness. It's a gala time. Also, in times of emergencies, there is always a someone to help out," says Benjamin, adding that the downside is that you can almost never miss a family function. “No excuses, there is no way to escape the family at any event. You'll probably get caught on your way out,“ he laughs, and adds that all the uncles and aunts are called amma and appa by all the cousins.
Next door to the Sunderrajan's bunga low live the Ramakrishnans, surprisingly, also a joint family, living apart. In this case, patriarch (the now late) G Ramakrishnan tore down his bungalow in 1989 to make way for six apartments for his five children and himself. “At 87, my mother is now the oldest in the building, while the rest of us siblings also live here, all above the age of 60,“ says Radha Srinivasan, one of five siblings who lives in the apartment building. “It's a wonderful feeling in your old age to have your brothers and sisters living just a step away from you," says Radha. “We all have our privacy as we live in our own apartments but we are together in times of need and to celebrate." This is so during the summer vacation as well, she says, when the house is flooded with 13 great-grandchildren.
Real estate developers too seem to be cashing in on the concept of the joint fam ily that likes to live together but apart.Bangalore-based Divyasree builders, for instance, has a project underway where there are `Linked Joint Family Homes' or doublements (double apartments) for joint families. “The doublements have individual balconies and kitchens in case different members of the family want to cook or entertain separately . Some apartments even have screens and doors within them to enhance the concept of independence within a joint family," says a staffer at Divyasree.“A feeling of togetherness is created with a common foyer that connects twin units.“
Around the world too ­ especially in Australia ­ the idea of having joint-independent homes is catching on through the concept of granny flats, where part of a house is made into a self-contained accommodation suitable for an elderly relative.