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Taxing taxis: 10 terrible excuses from Amman cabbies for not picking you up

Published July 29th, 2015 - 10:51 GMT

Mass transit in Amman, Jordan’s capital, is a miserable mess. There are some bus routes and a fleet of services, both of which require a decent command of Arabic and an understanding of this city where not all streets are labeled. Several taxi companies operate in Amman, and you can hail a cab almost everywhere in town, but it’s a crapshoot whether you’ll actually be allowed in the car. Usually, you won’t even be offered a reason, they just stare and press on the gas pedal leaving you confused — and without a ride.

 

But all that is about to change with the rising popularity of smartphone taxi apps. Uber, the world’s fast-growing ride sharing service, made Amman its 300th city when the company commenced operations in April. Uber reliably connects passengers with private cars for hire, charged directly to your credit card. It’s cashless commerce, with improved reliability for a nominal usage fee.

 

Brazil-based Easy Taxi launched in March, targeting everyone who doesn’t have credit cards, not a problem in Jordan where cash is king. They rely on licensed public taxis, giving the sector a boost and encouraging drivers to become more tech-proficient, punctual, and courteous. Over 500,000 potential users have downloaded their app and one-third of Amman’s 12,000 cab drivers have signed up to the service.

 

Once people experience the convenience of ordering a cab from their mobile phones, when and where they need it, competition could drum bad cabbie behavior out of the marketplace. The majority of Amman’s drivers are decent chaps. This slideshow turns a high beam on the minority miscreants.

 

So, before competition turns our surly drivers into professional of chauffeurs, the Al Bawaba Amman team bids farewell to two of the city's less charming facets: lazy cabbies and the creative excuses they gave for not picking us up.

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‘I don’t let kids in my cab’: You’re right, they’re small, smelly and they’ve always got jam on their hands. Maybe if you took less time judging and more time driving me home, I could do something about it.

‘I don’t let kids in my cab’: You’re right, they’re small, smelly and they’ve always got jam on their hands. Maybe if you took less time judging and more time driving me home, I could do something about it.

‘It's too hot’: It was nice enough for him to slow down and tell you that, wasn’t it? Amman can get scorching in the summer, but you’d think any experienced taxi driver would be used to this occupational hazard by now.

‘It's too hot’: It was nice enough for him to slow down and tell you that, wasn’t it? Amman can get scorching in the summer, but you’d think any experienced taxi driver would be used to this occupational hazard by now.

‘You’re on the wrong side of the road’: Have you ever considered the possibility you’re the one on the wrong side? Just wait for me to cross. I’ll even let you run the meter while I do it.

‘You’re on the wrong side of the road’: Have you ever considered the possibility you’re the one on the wrong side? Just wait for me to cross. I’ll even let you run the meter while I do it.

‘I’m hungry’: Poor guy, let’s stop and get you a snack. But first, get me off of this damn street corner. You can eat as much as you want so long as we’re going somewhere.

‘I’m hungry’: Poor guy, let’s stop and get you a snack. But first, get me off of this damn street corner. You can eat as much as you want so long as we’re going somewhere.

‘Can’t you just go somewhere else?’: Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just have my house meet me there.

‘Can’t you just go somewhere else?’: Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just have my house meet me there.

‘You’re fat’: And you’re a jerk. Let’s look past our differences and get going.

‘You’re fat’: And you’re a jerk. Let’s look past our differences and get going.

‘I’m not your driver’: But, aren't you? You may hear this if you’re a man and you climb into the back. Maybe cabbie hours are long, and these guys need someone to talk to — but someone should inform us of the rules of engagement before we get dumped on the street.

‘I’m not your driver’: But, aren't you? You may hear this if you’re a man and you climb into the back. Maybe cabbie hours are long, and these guys need someone to talk to — but someone should inform us of the rules of engagement before we get dumped on the street.

‘It’s raining’: I know this. In fact, I’m trying to catch a taxi right now so I can get out of it. Fortunately this isn’t such a common occurrence in Amman; unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Best time for business I hear you say to the back of the car? Well whose livelihood is it?!

‘It’s raining’: I know this. In fact, I’m trying to catch a taxi right now so I can get out of it. Fortunately this isn’t such a common occurrence in Amman; unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Best time for business I hear you say to the back of the car? Well whose livelihood is it?!

*blank stare . . . drives off*: Was it something I said?

*blank stare . . . drives off*: Was it something I said?

‘There’s too much traffic’: With more cars in the city than ever before, rush hour traffic jams are becoming an increasing problem in the capital. Don’t be surprised if a driver kicks you out of the cab if you’re headed somewhere with heavy congestion.

‘There’s too much traffic’: With more cars in the city than ever before, rush hour traffic jams are becoming an increasing problem in the capital. Don’t be surprised if a driver kicks you out of the cab if you’re headed somewhere with heavy congestion.

‘I don’t let kids in my cab’: You’re right, they’re small, smelly and they’ve always got jam on their hands. Maybe if you took less time judging and more time driving me home, I could do something about it.
‘It's too hot’: It was nice enough for him to slow down and tell you that, wasn’t it? Amman can get scorching in the summer, but you’d think any experienced taxi driver would be used to this occupational hazard by now.
‘You’re on the wrong side of the road’: Have you ever considered the possibility you’re the one on the wrong side? Just wait for me to cross. I’ll even let you run the meter while I do it.
‘I’m hungry’: Poor guy, let’s stop and get you a snack. But first, get me off of this damn street corner. You can eat as much as you want so long as we’re going somewhere.
‘Can’t you just go somewhere else?’: Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just have my house meet me there.
‘You’re fat’: And you’re a jerk. Let’s look past our differences and get going.
‘I’m not your driver’: But, aren't you? You may hear this if you’re a man and you climb into the back. Maybe cabbie hours are long, and these guys need someone to talk to — but someone should inform us of the rules of engagement before we get dumped on the street.
‘It’s raining’: I know this. In fact, I’m trying to catch a taxi right now so I can get out of it. Fortunately this isn’t such a common occurrence in Amman; unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Best time for business I hear you say to the back of the car? Well whose livelihood is it?!
*blank stare . . . drives off*: Was it something I said?
‘There’s too much traffic’: With more cars in the city than ever before, rush hour traffic jams are becoming an increasing problem in the capital. Don’t be surprised if a driver kicks you out of the cab if you’re headed somewhere with heavy congestion.
‘I don’t let kids in my cab’: You’re right, they’re small, smelly and they’ve always got jam on their hands. Maybe if you took less time judging and more time driving me home, I could do something about it.
‘I don’t let kids in my cab’: You’re right, they’re small, smelly and they’ve always got jam on their hands. Maybe if you took less time judging and more time driving me home, I could do something about it.
‘It's too hot’: It was nice enough for him to slow down and tell you that, wasn’t it? Amman can get scorching in the summer, but you’d think any experienced taxi driver would be used to this occupational hazard by now.
‘It's too hot’: It was nice enough for him to slow down and tell you that, wasn’t it? Amman can get scorching in the summer, but you’d think any experienced taxi driver would be used to this occupational hazard by now.
‘You’re on the wrong side of the road’: Have you ever considered the possibility you’re the one on the wrong side? Just wait for me to cross. I’ll even let you run the meter while I do it.
‘You’re on the wrong side of the road’: Have you ever considered the possibility you’re the one on the wrong side? Just wait for me to cross. I’ll even let you run the meter while I do it.
‘I’m hungry’: Poor guy, let’s stop and get you a snack. But first, get me off of this damn street corner. You can eat as much as you want so long as we’re going somewhere.
‘I’m hungry’: Poor guy, let’s stop and get you a snack. But first, get me off of this damn street corner. You can eat as much as you want so long as we’re going somewhere.
‘Can’t you just go somewhere else?’: Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just have my house meet me there.
‘Can’t you just go somewhere else?’: Oh yeah, sure. I’ll just have my house meet me there.
‘You’re fat’: And you’re a jerk. Let’s look past our differences and get going.
‘You’re fat’: And you’re a jerk. Let’s look past our differences and get going.
‘I’m not your driver’: But, aren't you? You may hear this if you’re a man and you climb into the back. Maybe cabbie hours are long, and these guys need someone to talk to — but someone should inform us of the rules of engagement before we get dumped on the street.
‘I’m not your driver’: But, aren't you? You may hear this if you’re a man and you climb into the back. Maybe cabbie hours are long, and these guys need someone to talk to — but someone should inform us of the rules of engagement before we get dumped on the street.
‘It’s raining’: I know this. In fact, I’m trying to catch a taxi right now so I can get out of it. Fortunately this isn’t such a common occurrence in Amman; unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Best time for business I hear you say to the back of the car? Well whose livelihood is it?!
‘It’s raining’: I know this. In fact, I’m trying to catch a taxi right now so I can get out of it. Fortunately this isn’t such a common occurrence in Amman; unfortunately, when it rains it pours. Best time for business I hear you say to the back of the car? Well whose livelihood is it?!
*blank stare . . . drives off*: Was it something I said?
*blank stare . . . drives off*: Was it something I said?
‘There’s too much traffic’: With more cars in the city than ever before, rush hour traffic jams are becoming an increasing problem in the capital. Don’t be surprised if a driver kicks you out of the cab if you’re headed somewhere with heavy congestion.
‘There’s too much traffic’: With more cars in the city than ever before, rush hour traffic jams are becoming an increasing problem in the capital. Don’t be surprised if a driver kicks you out of the cab if you’re headed somewhere with heavy congestion.

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