At Cannes, the passion for advertising came second to other acts of passion says FCB Ulka's Satbir Singh.
By Satbir Singh Every year, Cannes Lions or the advertising festival in the south of France, divides the advertising industry into those who Cannes go and the ones who cannot.
Quite obviously, then, upon your return, the widely-prevalent question you're likely to encounter is 'how was Cannes?'
More often than not, the tone of voice in which the aforementioned question is asked seems to suggest that what the investigator meant was really 'how was your holiday?'
Cannes is no, er, holiday.
Let me put it this way: no advertising person is going to return from Cannes and declare, like Bobby Jindal, 'tanned, rested, ready.'
It's more likely to be 'sunburnt, hungover, wasted.'
Here is how punishing an average day at Cannes can be.
2 pm: lunch and rose. 245pm: go to a mobile (pronounced mobill) conference.
3 pm: rose.
3:30 pm: Hear Kim Kardashian speak.
5 pm: no rose. Switch to beer.
6 pm: queue up for the awards night.
9:30 pm: beer. Discuss how the gold awarded to a rival agency was "all bull."
10:30 pm: beer.
11: 00 pm: beer.
Midnight: anything in a glass.
1 am: buy an attractive production person from eastern Europe a glass of wine.
2 am: watch someone else buy that person some wine. Order your own whisky. Double.
5 am: hit your hotel room. Set a 730am alarm for an 8am breakfast meeting with global CEO. 730am: hit snooze.
8:15 am: gulp down two Disprins, sprint to the agency boat for an 8am meeting with big boss.
Next day: repeat.
Every year, the festival is set abuzz by a great piece of work. This year, it wasn't a film or a print campaign that did it. Or a gold or a Grand Prix. It was probably what can be termed a Grand Prick.
A couple was spotted making out on the red carpet at 4am. Like, not necking. Full making out. Clearly, a fabulous example of onground activation, if there ever was.
The photo went viral within hours.
Knowing how awards work, I won't be surprised if some agency claims it to be their work and enters (pun unintended) it next year in the activation and viral categories.
The film stars at next year's Cannes film festival will now have to rethink their red carpet strategy. Mere designer gowns are not going to help. The bar has been set very high.
The trend with desi admen and women over the past few years has been to add a couple of weeks to their Cannes trip and see a bit of Europe as well. Which means the entire top management of various agencies has been out of their offices for nearly a month.
Talking to friends working at these agencies, one learns that they have never been happier and haven't lost any client when the bosses were away. Speaking of a long time in Europe, it's usually the third day at Cannes, that members of Indian delegation start missing desi khana. After a while, hard French bread doesn't compare to phulkas. Or cold cuts to mutton korma.
Luckily, there are a couple of restaurants serving garam Indian khana. This time, Rehman, the waiter at Maharajah was particularly happy and cheerful while serving us. I thought for a while that it was because I spoke to him in Bengali. Turns out, it was because Bangladesh had walloped India. So it wasn't just some delicious chicken tikka masala, we also swallowed our pride.
Hopefully, next year, there isn't any India-Bangladesh series before Cannes.
(The author is chief creative officer at FCB Ulka. Views expressed are personal.)
