Yoga Day coach Baba Ramdev has team in a twist: ‘we will rid the world of gas’

“Practise today, my dear countrymen. And practise hard because we need to be perfect on June 21,” he says, unknotting his torso to face his still-posturing audience of over 5,000 at a soaked Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium outfield. “On June 21, you will show the world how to live better lives. On June 21, you will pass on the power of yoga to 190 countries.

[related-post]

“Including 47 Muslim nations.” Today is rehearsal day. A rehearsal to the inaugural International Yoga Day, where Ramdev will preside over 45,000 practitioners, all of whom will perform 15 basic yoga asanas along Rajpath’s lush embankments. The show has been blessed by the BJP-led government, who’ve even applied to the Guinness World Records Limited for organising the largest-ever yoga ‘class’.

“Swamiji (Ramdev) is my guru, my doctor, my God,” says a dentist from Dwarka, one of the first to arrive at JLN on this wet, inky morning. He says he is a Rajyaprabhari (state in-charge) with Patanjali Yogpeeth, an institute established by Ramdev for the promotion of yoga. And as the Rajyaprabhari, he has helped transport 5,200 “bhakts” to the stadium from all across the National Capital Region.

“A total of 104 buses carrying 50 passengers each have left from their respective pick-up points at 3 am. They will be here any minute,” he says. When the buses arrive, almost simultaneously at the crack of dawn, the passengers alight barefeet, carrying their footwear in a saffron bag. All 5,200 of them are draped in white T-shirts with Ramdev’s face plastered at the back. And all 5,200 of them are cowering by the JLN stands, refusing to take the soggy outfield.

Despite repeated warnings, each one increasingly snarkier in its tone, hardly anyone budges. But 20 minutes later, as Ramdev’s white SUV slices through the 400-metre track and stops just below the stage, the stands drain out in an instant.

“You must have wondered if this rehearsal was going to be cancelled in this rain,” says Ramdev. “I have never bailed out of an appointment, so why should this be the first?” But just as he strips down to his loincloth and begins the first abhyas (exercise), the drizzle turns into a downpour.

“Arrey, it’s just rain!” exclaims Ramdev as the gathering trudges back towards the stands. “Rain drops are God’s pearls, so collect as much as you can. Please, ladies and gentlemen, return to your mats. If I could plant trees in the sky to stop you from getting drenched, I would.”

And then, Ramdev bundles up his mane and unfurls his one-liners. “Mobile phones are worth Rs 65,000 these days. But don’t worry, my men are passing polythene bags around for your phone’s benefit.” On sheets of strewn plastic, it’s a squishy start to the warm-ups. Some fall, everyone slips. But Ramdev is relentless with his drill — High Knees.

“If the whole world does this then we won’t need knee doctors anymore. Your knees will live to be a 100. You will live even more.”

Next, Jumping Jacks. “‘Hume treadmill nahi chahiye. Yog is divine intervention. I’ve never been to a gym. But no man, young or old, can beat me in kushti (wrestling).”

Next, shoulder rotations. “Yeh easy hai busy ke liye. Media waalon, you live in Delhi. Most polluted city. If you want to live long, office mein yeh abhyas karo.”

Next, balancing on one foot. “Want to get over non-veg food? Or alcohol? Turn to this. Yeh hai scientific stretch.”

Warm-ups over, it’s now time to rehearse the 15 asanas with the followers. Kneeling and with hands on knees, Ramdev announces: “Vajrasana. This is how my Muslim brothers read the Namaaz. And when my Muslim brothers touch their heads to the ground in prayer, they are basically doing the Shashankasana. So there is Yog in Islam too.”

Among those on stage is Mufti Shamoon Qasmi, general secretary of the All India Imam Organisation. “I was there with Ramdev ji because yoga is about wellness. It is not about any religion, I will be there at Rajpath, too,” Qasmi told The Indian Express later.

The rehearsal ends with Shavasana. “I will entertain you for another 40 minutes, till 8 am,” Ramdev says, inviting a gaggle of children from his gurukul to the stage.

“I’m sure all of you are wishing you could become kids again and join Acharyakulam under my tutelage,” he says, pausing for a shrug. “You know it isn’t possible now. Most of you here are old. But fear not. There is still one way.”

How, asks a bhakt in the front row. “No problem,” says Ramdev. “Once you die, you will always have a chance in your next life.”
(With ENS/Delhi)