These first five games for the Yankees could have gone worse. Pinstripes could have been outlawed or Monument Park could have become contaminated or all fans could have received David Ortiz bobblehead dolls.
But aside from that, this has been just about as miserable a five games as could be imagined.
The Yankees have played 55 innings and have led in one.
To date, they can’t hit, field or run the bases. Their starting pitching has been, at best, ordinary and their relief has not been as good as advertised.
They cratered on Saturday, getting humiliated 8-4 by the Red Sox. They managed five hits, but four came in the final two innings after falling behind by seven runs. They committed three more errors and that merely hinted at their defensive incompetence.
“I think we are a much better team than how we have played,” manager Joe Girardi said. “If we play at this pace all year, we’re not going to have many wins and I think we are much better than this.”
They are 1-4 and their one victory was a gift basket delivered by the Blue Jays. The pinnacle of their season, to date, was being plucky on Friday night to keep coming back late before losing 6-5 to Boston in 19 innings. The Yankees actually played highlights of their big hits before Saturday’s game. This is what they are reduced to these days — bragging about positive achievements in losses.
Talk about stuff that would make George Steinbrenner vomit.
You can say it is just a snapshot. But keep this in mind: After Sunday, an offense that was built specifically for Yankee Stadium goes on the road for 25-of-35 games. And this is what the Yanks look like before suffering a serious injury. Think about the Knicks, who were abysmal with Carmelo Anthony and historically bad without him.
On Sunday night, the Yankees send out a mystery named Masahiro Tanaka, who seems as anxious to talk about his fastball as he is to throw one. He said he had a discussion about velocity with Girardi, but did not want to discuss the details with reporters, indicating his manager would. Girardi, though, would not even confirm a meeting, saying this was a private matter with a player.
One of these days the uptight Yankees manager might figure out he is the lead spokesman for the team and that among the reasons he gets paid significant money is his fan base is interested in the major issues around the team. The question was about Tanaka’s velocity, not if he were evading taxes. Twenty-nine other managers discuss this. The Yankees skipper — like most issues — treats it like nuclear codes. And this is the tense behavior not even a week into the season.
Overall, the Yankees keep saying Tanaka’s average velocity was similar in the opener as it was last year. But that is a dodge. If Tanaka throws 25 fastballs all at 90 mph, the average is 90 mph. If he throws 20 at 90 and five at 95, the average is 91. The averages are similar, but where are the five 95s? The wonder has been about the missing peaks. Also, why would the Blue Jays hitters all say he was not the same guy?
What is scary is that Tanaka might not even be the No. 1 problem.
At this moment, it is difficult to tell what is lower, Didi Gregorius’ batting average or baseball IQ. His brain lock Saturday was holding onto a relay while a runner he could have made a play on at the plate scored not only without a throw, but without even a look from Gregorius.
Dellin Betances can’t throw consistent strikes. John Ryan Murphy, supposedly a defensive specialist, has looked bad behind the plate as Alex Rodriguez looked at first base Saturday. And A-Rod looked like a Little Leaguer using two hands to catch — or in one case not catch — throws. At least he had an excuse as this was his first regular season game ever at the position.
What is the alibi for an offense hitting a collective .193? Boston starter Joe Kelly came off the disabled list (biceps tendinitis) on a 90-pitch limit and the Yankee offense put simulated-game-level pressure on him with one hit in seven innings.
The defense not only made the three errors, but Brett Gardner and Garrett Jones had flyballs go off their gloves, Chase Headley could not turn an infield-in grounder into an out at the plate, Murphy was charged with a passed ball and looked woeful trying to stop two steal attempts.
Remember, this was a team that was going to cover up shortcomings with elite defense and relief. As plans go, New Coke was better.
Maybe it is just five games and the Yankees are far better than this. Or perhaps this is a revelatory snapshot of a long season to come.